I send this to my playboy ex, who don't want a life with me.
Hello cutie.... thank you for the day ❤️ I don't know when we'll meet again, but this one will stay with me for long. You made my heart a little louder and my thoughts a little softer tonight. Maybe it was just another day for you, but for me it was so special and first time. Thank you for the dinners, glances and unspoken feelings. From the day I first saw you, I kept asking about you everywhere. It's been two years now and I'm genuinely happy that I loved someone who's loved by so many people. It's been beautiful to love you, even silently. I had planned a small surprise for you, but it didn't work out... and that still makes me a little sad. You asked me, "why did you love me even everyone spoke wrong about me". Honestly, I don't know. I just couldn't unlove you, no matter how hard I tried. I tried meditation, yoga, dance classes, even counselling. Not because of you, but because I was struggling to feel happiness in what I already had. Yet, just one small wave or smile from you would calm my heart instantly. I could never speak against you, no matter what anyone says. Because I love you that much. And sometimes this love doesn't even feel healthy because it's too deep or too consuming. But today, I feel lighter.
I feel like I can finally breathe. You've owned a part of mine. I always wanted my first to be someone I love. Because I'm not someone who feels things easily. I don't get moved by just anyone's touch or words. But with you, even your presence was enough. I'm a sensitive person. I cry easily, whether it's for family, friends or you. But don't panic, I'm not going to collapse over you. I just loved you purely. Love doesn't mean marriage or possession. There are so many people in this world better for us, more than us. And life goes on. I don't believe in forcing anyone to stay, not even someone I love this much. Because if someone forced me, I'd suffocate. So I'll let love breathe, even if it means letting go.
When I see you, I get the feeling of being in a lift dropping from the 30th floor to the basement. My mind goes blank, my words disappear. But that's okay. You'll always be my first feeling of something real.
If I ever troubled you, I'm truly sorry.
Thank you for listening to me,
Thank you for your time. Thank you for existing.
"You are aging like wine" — Bye