u/ImperfectFantasy

I am always the quiet one. It used to be due to social anxiety, and well, it still is but now I actually don't want to be background noise anymore.

However, whenever I try, I seem to never have anything to contribute. My mouth is sewn shut and I am just left smiling and nodding. I don't know anything about what the other people are saying. Like the other day, they were talking about monarchies, countries, and very specific berry types to name a few- how do I jump into that kind of conversation? It doesn't help that I zone out every few seconds no matter how hard I focus and when I lock back in, the conversation somehow already moved onto something else?

I find it easy to talk with people I am close to though. I will ramble and sound very sociable but when it's with strangers or just anyone I am not well acquainted with, it is such a struggle. Which is frustrating when I'm trying to actively meet more new people.

Are there any tips you can offer? Practices I can try?

I know, I'm shitty for this, but I can't help that I no longer feel as close to them as I did.

This feels like just one of those scenarios where close friends sometimes drift apart, not for any negative reasons, but just because of life; but the main difference is one is still closely attached while the other has moved on.

I don't see the need to cut them off completely... I have had friends in the past where we only talk to each other like once in a blue moon now and still get along fine, and I'd like for us to be that way too, but obviously they still are more attached to me than I am so I feel like I can't do that either.

Just not sure what the gentlest way to go about this would be.