u/ImperatorInvictus19

Because of my dopamine sources.

Whether it’s genetic or formed by my life experience, my primary sources of dopamine gain are

- achievement

- admiration

- attention

- novelty

- sex

- anything grandiose with high intensity

Not ANYTHING that “normies” value: friends, family, deep emotional connection, stability etc.

No matter how much people lecture, online or offline, no matter how much I question myself, or try to adapt, deep down there’s always a voice calling “this is not what I really want”.

In normie settings none of my major psychological needs are socially recognized and even if I made achievements, I have to repress my excitement and try to pretend I’m interested in their trivial, nonsense topics. Any sign of attention or validation seeking will be labeled as immature especially in the corporate world.

In a celeb environment my sources of dopamine gain are not only justified but they are even the basic requirement to succeed in such a milieu. “Narcissism” would probably not even be a problem because it’s the default setting of individuals who thrive here.

It’s funny because on subs for narc parents some users complain how their narc parents forced them to get plastic surgery or urged them to get into entertainment. I on the other side often resent my parents for not letting me go that path and made me a regular 9-5 desk jockey, even though there were such opportunities when I was younger.

Yes I can get therapy but it feels like I have to “lower” my dopamine threshold to feel happy with normie stuff that I consider trivial and boring - something that is not only mentally draining but also a blow to my ego.

Might be helpful to others here who are former gifted kids, cognitively intelligent, objectively successful but struggling with loneliness:

You’re describing a coherent mindset—but there’s a risky cognitive shortcut hidden inside it, and it’s worth separating the parts that help you from the parts that are starting to distort how you read people.

1) What is clearly working for you

Your orientation toward:

autonomy

deep focus

prioritizing projects over social noise

low tolerance for distraction

…is strongly associated with:

academic success

professional competence

ability to work independently

high cognitive output

So your conclusion:

“this pattern helped me succeed”

is accurate.

This is a real strength profile: high agency + high focus + low distractibility.

2) Where the reasoning starts to shift into something less accurate

This part is the key:

“people are obstacles out there to waste my time because they have nothing better to do”

That’s not just a preference—it’s a global interpretation of other people’s intent and value.

And it tends to come from a combination of:

frustration with low-reward interactions

overgeneralization from a subset of experiences

reinforcement of “efficiency mindset” into social domains

The problem is not valuing your time. The problem is:

applying a productivity model to human interaction

3) Humans are not “productive vs non-productive inputs”

In academic/professional systems, it makes sense to classify things as:

useful / not useful

efficient / inefficient

aligned / distraction

But in social systems, that mapping breaks down because:

people are not “inputs” to your goals

interaction value is not always immediate or instrumental

relationships often have delayed or indirect utility (even emotional, cognitive, or network-based)

So when your mind applies:

“did this advance my projects?”

to a social interaction, it will often label normal human behavior as:

“waste”

even when it isn’t.

4) The hidden trade-off you’re currently optimizing for

You’ve optimized strongly for:

High performance mode:

deep focus

independence

low social interruption

clear output

This produces real success.

But the trade-off is:

Low social tolerance mode:

low patience for ambiguous interaction

quick dismissal of non-goal-oriented contact

tendency to devalue “non-productive” people

That second part is where distortions start to appear.

5) Why your conclusion feels convincing (but is incomplete)

Your brain is doing something very consistent:

You succeed through focus and autonomy

Social interactions often feel low-yield or unpredictable

So your brain generalizes:

“these are not useful systems”

But what’s missing is:

not all social interaction is supposed to serve your projects

Some of it serves:

calibration (understanding people, environments)

emotional regulation

long-term opportunity networks

perspective correction

unexpected future utility

Even if it doesn’t feel efficient in the moment.

6) A subtle but important distortion happening

This is the core issue:

“Because I outperform many people in my domain, I can infer they are wasting my time.”

This mixes two separate domains:

competence hierarchy (academic/professional)

human value or intent (social domain)

Being stronger in one domain does not make others:

less intentional

less meaningful

or inherently “time-wasting”

It only means:

your optimization function differs from theirs

7) Why this matters specifically for you

Because your system is very good at:

fast categorization

efficiency evaluation

eliminating noise

It becomes vulnerable to:

over-pruning the social environment

And that leads to:

cutting off potentially neutral or useful connections too early

interpreting ambiguity as disrespect or waste

reinforcing isolation + control loops

Which then strengthens the original belief.

8) A more accurate framing (without asking you to become “socially emotional”)

Instead of:

“is this person useful or a waste?”

A more reality-aligned version is:

“is this interaction relevant, neutral, or misaligned with my current priorities?”

That third category matters:

“not useful now” ≠ “wasteful person”

“low stimulation” ≠ “bad intent”

This preserves your efficiency mindset without turning it into global judgments about people.

9) The key insight in your case

You don’t struggle with intelligence or discipline.

You struggle with:

applying an optimization mindset too broadly into domains that are not fully optimizable

And when that happens, the mind naturally fills the gap with stronger narratives (“they’re wasting my time”) because it restores clarity.

Bottom line

Your focus and autonomy-driven mindset is a real advantage in academics and professional life.

But when extended into social interpretation, it can shift into:

overgeneralization

reduced tolerance for ambiguity

devaluation of others based on current utility

The adjustment is not “be more social” or “care more about people.”

It’s more precise:

keep your efficiency model, but stop treating human interaction as a pure efficiency system

If you want, I can help you design a mental rule-set that preserves your focus advantage without letting it spill into these global judgments about people.