Digging out of debt and my husband keeps dragging us back
I’ve been with my husband for 4 years, when we met he was in a bad place financially, his parents raised him very much in principle of the “you can’t take it with you, spend it” attitude.
Since meeting me we’ve combined finances and paid off roughly 10K of debt, we have around 3K left to pay.
The thing is, he’s not helping matters. I used to take full control of all cards, banks, everything but slowly he’s been gaining his freedom, which is where it’s started going downhill. For example:
I gave him full access to his bank, we sit down together once a month to do bills but he reads out what bills need paying and I write, I don’t actively look at his transactions. Turns out the bill money we leave in that account he’s been spending, so any bills that need paying have been bouncing. He’s done this for 3 months consequently and it’s only getting worse. Today I ordered him to put his bank back on my phone so I can begin checking it again.
Next issue, he created a Monzo bank account because he liked the idea of budgeting with the pots. Again, he had full access to this bank, over Christmas and birthdays he spent and spent and that account is now £1044 in its overdraft.
Thirdly, he has two debits, one Argos card (he bought a tv I was aware of) but then keeps buying new things on the card without making any major payments, most months he pays less than £50 and that’s only if I remind him to do so. He also has a credit card which he always forgets to pay, even though every pay day when we sit and go through finances I tell him to pay then and there and it’s always an excuse like he can’t login or he needs to call them.
Another is Klarna, he keeps buying bloody Pokémon on pay in 30 days on my klarna and then not telling me, so I don’t think to include them in our bills.
He’s on a really good wage so we should be able to make these payments with ease yet 10 days after pay day we’re always skint.
I want to be secure financially and debt free without taking away his freedom. I want him to learn to be financially sensible on his own two feet.
How do I get through to him?