How may I know if I'm trans?
Since I was 14 I've always felt attracted to female profile icons and aesthetics. Even though I am male, I have been for some years internally desiring to suddenly be a girl. I've been questioning myself for years over and over again and yet I don't know whether I am trans or not. I am only able to think about the topic clearly without limits when I'm de-stressing myself, otherwise I can't think about it normally, I believe I've been oppressing this side for years because of my surroundings and fear, being trans ruined some of my friend's lives and I don't want to go through something similar.
I doubt I'd be open to trying out being trans publicly but I've recently talked to a gay friend about this and he told me that I should express myself as however I want, what is odd is that I use female icons and even have female aesthetics online but in real life I don't, which is also why I don't really imagine myself being trans.
It's confusing, I internally desire to be a girl and would easily press a button to switch genders if I had no consequences and no one would care but I still don't dare to think about it unless I'm completely calm and alone. Sorry if I repeat myself, it's my first time trying to ask for advice from actual trans publicly, some old trans friends that I had really didn't help me out, so excuse my shyness!
What should I do? It's so confusing, I've been trying to think and do tests to think even more about this but I just can't reach a conclusion, I certainly seem interested in trans related posts and articles about others asking if they were trans, they've inspired me but I wonder what you all think in my case!