AITAH for excluding my dad from my mum's birthday celebration?
Obviously I'm biased, but I'll try to describe the situation in the most neutral way I can. Also, English isn't my first language, so apologies in advance.
My mum has a milestone birthday coming up. My dad has never done anything for her birthday. My sisters and I usually come over on the day with flowers, gifts and cake.
This year we thought we'd treat her to an activity she had previously expressed interest in. It's something that my dad would absolutely not want to do. However, that wasn't an issue in my mind because (a) he should make his own birthday plans for his wife, and (b) he had told us he'd be away on a business trip on the actual day, and we had agreed to move the bday celebrations (flowers, gifts, cake) to the following weekend so he can attend.
Earlier this week dad texted my sister that he'll be here on the day after all, and asks if we planned anything extra since it's a milestone birthday. She tells him we're planning an activity, and asks that he makes sure mum is free that day.
Well, today mum calls me at work and tells me that dad is upset because "we excluded him from the activity". She asks that I call him and smooth things over.
I admit that I didn't take it well. I was pretty harsh and told her that dad is a grown-ass man and if he wanted to do something for her birthday, he could put in the tiniest modicum of effort. And that as usual, he expects us girls to do the work for him, and then complains if/when we don't.
Mum was upset and said I didn't need to apologise, just talk to him. I said I see no reason to appease him and that I did nothing wrong. The call ended on a sour note, and now mum's pissed at me.
I feel bad because this probably wasn't the greatest time to take a stand, but I was so dumbfounded when she asked for an apology, I let my temper get the better of me. Now everyone's mad and mum's birthday is gonna be TENSE.
So, AITAH for excluding my dad?