No. I don't want to. She doesn't get to be the victim anymore after molesting me. She doesnt get to be the victim anymore after denying me a childhood. She doesnt get to be the victim anymore after starving me and laughing when I begged for food. She doesnt get to be the victim anymore after trying to pimp me out to that cougar from her yoga classes. She's not a scared child anymore, shes nearing her 60s and became the very thing that she so claims to hate. She doesnt get to cry about how she was abused as a child, when she did the exact same fucking thing to me, and then has the nerve to claim that she "had it worse".
For context, my mother went through horrific abuse as a child, and my family defends what she put me through because "your mother has had a rough life". I dont deny or downplay the horrible things her parents did, but its not an excuse for molesting me in the living room in broad daylight while my stepdad looks on and laughs at me. I never had a childhood. My only childhood dream was to escape her. My only childhood wish was to be saved. It's crazy that she says it's the same thing she went though, because she would verbally berate me and mock me whenever I cried or was afraid. I hate how my family defends her. Acts like she's still the victim and tells me I cant be mad at her because she was abused too.
It was hammered into my head from a young age too that I couldn't be mad at my mother for doing awful things. Some of my earliest memories are of my mother ranting to me in tears about how she was abused. Describing in detail to a 4 year old what its like to be beaten with a paddle and to walk in on your sister after she committed suicide. I knew how to hang myself step by step by the time I was 8, and even tried to in the basement as a game because of her. The bitch would joke about me developing fetishes as a child while she did shit to me. Why do I have to have sympathy for her? Why do I have to forgive her? Why does my family baby her and act like shes some poor soul who cant help it?
So no. I won't think about what my mother went through. She did the exact same shit to me, so I already know firsthand. I spend my life trying to forget.