Struggling to find intimacy
Hello, I’ve been with my wife for 13 years married for six and I wanna start off by saying I love her more than anything. She’s my best friend. She makes me laugh and we’re a great team after about a year into our relationship. She disclosed to me that she was a survivor of sexual trauma as a child, which made a lot of sense as I could tell, sex was definitely not at the top of her priority list knowing this, I was extremely careful when approaching sex as I knew it would take some time for her to feel comfortable with me on my other side of things we are extremely compatible. We’d like to do the same things we laugh about the same things. Everything is perfect after about four or five years into our relationship. I have approached her as I was starting to definitely feel like I needed more just feeling alone, invokes a deep depression and feeling of guilt in myself for wanting more even though I know what she’s been through. We talked about it and agreed we should seek counseling to help move forward after about three visits. She didn’t want to do it anymore, as it was too tough for her which I totally understand. I could never imagine things didn’t really change. She told me then she has zero libido and never crave sex. as hard as that was for me to hear I understand I don’t wanna make her uncomfortable so for the last while I’ve been suppressing my feelings and while I understand why she’s doing it every time she denies me it’s getting a little worse, I don’t know how to manage these feelings. I just wanna feel wanted she won’t allow me to initiate in a normal way like flirting or kissing if we have sex it’s because I ask do you wanna have sex? It’s either a yes or no this sterility in our intimate life is really starting to affect me as I don’t feel attractive or wanted obviously that’s my dumb monkey brain doing that, but I can’t seem to help it. Does anyone have advice? She doesn’t wanna go to counseling again, but I just need to have an intimate relationship with my wife. every attempt at fun flirting is shut down immediately and she straight up told me she doesn’t like when I touch her because she knows what I’m trying to do. I’m at a loss. I feel guilty for even feeling like this because of what she’s went through, but I feel like I have needs to. Does anybody have any advice?
TLDR:need advice on how to move forward happily