u/Ill-Investigator-617

Sorry if this is not the right subreddit for this, but I genuinely don’t know where else to ask for help.

I really need help because my mental health has become very bad because of religion and “vocation” fears.

I grew up Catholic, and for the past months I’ve fallen into intense fear about religious life and God’s will. I keep hearing things like: “If God is calling you to be a nun and you don’t answer, you will never be truly happy.” That idea has completely destroyed my peace.

I have a boyfriend that I do not want to leave, but then I spiral into thoughts like:
- what if religious life is actually my true calling?
- what if I will be unhappy forever because I said no?
- what if every happy moment in a relationship is fake because I’m “supposed” to become a nun?

Now I’m constantly analyzing my feelings and my relationship. I keep asking myself if I was ever “truly happy” with my boyfriend or if I was just convincing myself. I can’t tell anymore what is real and what is fear.

The worst part is that religion stopped feeling comforting and started feeling psychologically terrifying. I feel trapped between:
- staying with the person I love,
- and the fear that I’m rejecting God.

I’ve become so overwhelmed that sometimes I feel like I don’t even want to live anymore because I can’t handle this pressure and uncertainty. I’m not planning to hurt myself, but I feel emotionally exhausted and on the edge.

I’m even thinking about stepping away from Catholicism for a while and just being “Christian” because the fear and guilt around vocation has become unbearable for me. If anyone has any advices for that, feel welcome to share.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of vocation anxiety / religious OCD / fear of missing God’s will? How did you deal with it without destroying your mental health and relationship?

I really need help because my mental health has become very bad because of religion and “vocation” fears.

I grew up Catholic, and for the past months I’ve fallen into intense fear about religious life and God’s will. I keep hearing things like: “If God is calling you to be a nun and you don’t answer, you will never be truly happy.” That idea has completely destroyed my peace.

I have a boyfriend that I do not want to leave, but then I spiral into thoughts like:
- what if religious life is actually my true calling?
- what if I will be unhappy forever because I said no?
- what if every happy moment in a relationship is fake because I’m “supposed” to become a nun?

Now I’m constantly analyzing my feelings and my relationship. I keep asking myself if I was ever “truly happy” with my boyfriend or if I was just convincing myself. I can’t tell anymore what is real and what is fear.

The worst part is that religion stopped feeling comforting and started feeling psychologically terrifying. I feel trapped between:
- staying with the person I love,
- and the fear that I’m rejecting God.

I’ve become so overwhelmed that sometimes I feel like I don’t even want to live anymore because I can’t handle this pressure and uncertainty. I’m not planning to hurt myself, but I feel emotionally exhausted and on the edge.

I’m even thinking about stepping away from Catholicism for a while and just being “Christian” because the fear and guilt around vocation has become unbearable for me. While I still do belive in Jesus I don’t think Catholisim is for me.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of vocation anxiety / religious OCD / fear of missing God’s will? How did you deal with it without destroying your mental health and relationship?

I need advice because I genuinely can’t tell if this is a real calling from God or just anxiety/overthinking.
I’m Catholic and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I truly love him and want a future with him. Recently I went to confession and Mass, saw some nuns, and suddenly had the thought: “I could do that too.” Since then I’ve been spiraling.
The problem is that whenever I see nuns or think about religious life, I feel a sense of peace and simplicity, and then my brain immediately goes: “What if God actually wants me to become a nun?” Then I panic because I don’t WANT to leave my boyfriend. I want marriage, a future, kids, normal life with him. But now I keep obsessively questioning everything:
What if I don’t really love him anymore?
What if God wants me to sacrifice this relationship?
What if I’m ignoring a calling?
What if the peace I feel means I’m supposed to become a nun?
This happened once before a few years ago too and lasted for about a month before fading away.
Now I feel stuck in constant mental checking and fear. I keep asking God in my head “Do you want me to be a nun?” over and over trying to get certainty, but I can’t find peace. One moment I feel like “no, I want my boyfriend,” and the next moment my brain says “but what if…”
I’m sorry for the long post. I’m also going through a really difficult period in my faith right now and I honestly feel exhausted and confused.