Basically everything in the title. He was dx in his 30s - he’s 53 now. He has low T and high blood pressure, which he is medicated for. He tried meds in his 30s and had horrible side effects that actually have lasted ever since. Sleep is a trigger and he wakes up early for work. It’s difficult- he basically wants silence from 8pm onward when I get home at 7pm from work and I have an hour to talk to him. (This isn’t everyday- but it happens a lot during busy seasons). He sticks to his routines, nutrition, fitness, so I know that he relies on that. I think I can just feel myself disengaging sometimes. He gets into a phase of being a know it all or we should do this and we should do that.. then when I need to talk about something he needs to shut down for sleep now. It’s like there are topics off limit- so I shut down and then he feels bad and tries to say I’m the most important person in the world to him he just doesn’t want to talk about xYZ before bed.
He’s hard to be in a relationship with and doesn’t see how it stresses me out. I try to take care do myself, and he gets upset with me when I don’t- but then it feels like I can’t have needs or disagree with him, but he can’t see that as an issue.
I’m just looking for advice from those of you who experience this. I’m 40 and we have a blended family and each own our businesses. He is high functioning with BP2- I know this. I just feel stuck sometimes when his libido, energy, rigidness, and needs come before mine. He becomes defensive when I bring this up, citing that he told me that he was selfish with his time. I recognize he need routines and structures for balance. I’m just feeling like it’s costing me and I begin to back off. We’ve been together 7 years. I know I’m burned out for lots of reasons, not just the relationship.