Edited to add context -
Where we used to live we had a routine of going to the local park which was fenced and safe. We went almost everyday from when she started taking steps at about 1 year. As it was safe I never expected her to hold my hand, I'd carry her there and back.
We recently moved house and we're in a new city. It's very different and I started using the pram more as it felt less safe. She won't hold my hand because it's not something we've practiced and she wants to walk because I used to let her but I know she hasn't got the skills to stay close or look out for danger.
Original post -
My 18mo seems very keen to get out of the pram when we go out for walks now. She's a very good walker and can keep up with us fine, she also has good language and can understand basic instructions but she doesn't have any impulse control, gets very excited about everything and she doesn't hold hands with us.
I'm looking for advice on how to manage this stage and what methods helped you keep your young toddlers walking with you. I'm also wondering if you can critique what happened yesterday as I'm thinking it over and wondering if I was a bit harsh on her and my husband...
We tried letting her out while on a walk but we struggled. Even though the path was in a scenic area and lots of families were out and about the track was also used by cyclists and cars. We warned her when we needed to move out of the way and we crouched with her to hold her safely at the edge but she wriggled and struggled so much and I was worried about safety.
I tried giving her clear instructions, I tried picking her up and in the end I gave her one warning to say she'd have to go back in the pram if she wasn't safe around the cars. I stayed calm even though I felt self conscious of other parents and we were the only ones having trouble with our LO. I insisted we be consistent and follow through even though my husband was sure it was all fine and was interfering with the process.
She got upset and was crying as I put her back in the pram but I explained why, my husband was trying to say he'd carry her but I told him no, she'd only wriggle out of his arms and I suggested if he couldn't manage her crying he could walk ahead of us. She calmed down within about 5mins of me pushing the pram and then when she was calm I crouched down and spoke to her a little about what happened and I ended with "we're still having a lovely day, let's find somewhere to have lunch".
I was trying so hard to follow an approach that felt consistent and fair with reconciliation after. I have talked to my husband since and he said he was panicking, he didn't think she'd calm down and he was worried about judgy parents. But he also said he thought he was doing fine and that I wasn't giving him a chance. I said I understood but that I couldn't parent them both. I said that the approach was working and I needed him to follow through.
I'm now second guessing myself and thought maybe I was a bit harsh on him as he is an active parent, but he's working a lot so I'm figuring out this toddler malarky and having to pass on the updated approaches. Maybe I was too strong with our daughter as she's still young. There could have been a middle ground where she could have walked for longer as she did love her taste of freedom but I'm not sure how that would look, especially when there are safety concerns.