u/Ijustwanttosayit

After my recent diagnosis and learning about Autistic traits of mine vs. neurotypical/allistic people. There is a perceived characteristic of mine that I wonder if my Autism/auDHD gives off, even though it isn't there?

Throughout my whole life, I have in the past been treated like I am a sneak, scheming, a slacker, someone trying to cut corners, make excuses, etc.

Like, I'd see my bosses fully trusting my coworkers, but for instance, I once called out of work on a Friday because I was feeling ill. The following Monday, my supervisor was asking me weird questions like "Did you have fun?" My coworker who was listening later told me he didn't believe that I was sick and he was just testing me to see if I'd reveal what I was actually doing.

One time, there was a snowstorm coming through, and I was relying on public transportation at the time, they were going to be cutting off public transit early for the storm (so there would be no bus when I got out of work), and Ubers and taxis are near impossible to get during storms, plus Uber is like $40+ which I couldn't afford. So I asked my boss if I could go home early before public transit was cut off for the day (it would have been about an hour early). I was accused of grasping for an excuse to leave work early??

Back in college, I was being evicted from my housing and I had 30 days to find somewhere to go, so I asked my professor if I could get an excused absence and if I could get a copy of her power point presentation should I have to go view an apartment, because I can't afford to hold off on viewings as housing was in short supply in that college town. She told me no because she could tell I was the type who when you give them an inch, they take it a mile, and suddenly I'm wanting to be excused for every little thing.

Even my own parents treated me like I was a liar and a schemer when I wasn't. I've never been like this and yet people all around me treated me this way. When asking for understanding and accommodations, I was genuinely asking for it. I wasn't trying to get out of something, or slack, or whatever.

In grade school, I was always the "She's very quiet and sweet... a little too quiet and sweet, don't you think?" girl. And I was thrown into drama, and accused of feeling and thinking ways I didn't, and doing things I hadn't.

I've began to wonder if it's the phenomena where allistic/neurotypical people statistically can sense that something is different about a person who is Autistic, even when neither parties are aware. And so when someone is different or off to these people, they err on a more cynical side and this creates a lack of trust, and they're just waiting for the autistic person to reveal their true self to them. Prior to my diagnosis, my fiance said I am a 'blacnk canvas' personality. I am quiet and softspoken, so people project onto me.

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u/Ijustwanttosayit — 9 days ago
▲ 445 r/adhdwomen

I tell people all the time that I am easily distracted, and at work... I like to focus. And I mean practically hyperfocus. I put on noise cancelling headphones and just zone in on my work and do not want to deal with anything else. When I need to talk to or ask a coworker a question, I DM them on Teams and tell them when they have a moment can I ask them a question or talk to them about something. This allows them to keep working and get to me when they can. No one extends this courtesy to me. They will just walk up and start talking to me, even when I have my headphones on, nevermind if I'm maybe in the middle of something.

Even my partner who is auDHD like me. I explain to him that while I work from home on Mondays, it does not mean I am off for the day or that I am chilling at home. I am working. But he will still just keep walking up and talk to me like I'm just hanging out at home. He has FMLA so he often chooses to stay home from work on Mondays, probably because I am home. Or he will hover and hang around me while I am working.

But when this happens, I get distracted and make errors, and I get called out on it, and I can tell when an error is due to a distraction because I will just blatantly forget something as opposed to making a mistake, like putting in wrong data or a typo.

That's it. That's my rant. Off to work I go (I was checking my email and saw one of my coworkers reprimand me via email because she found multiple mistakes in my work and upon reviewing them, I can tell it's from my partner who kept interrupting me yesterday).

Edit: Yes, I have spoken to people about this, and my partner. I do not have a private office at work or at home. I think people just forget and act on impulse. If they have a question they just rush over and blurt it out. I have a sign on the peg board next to my desk stating I need to focus.

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u/Ijustwanttosayit — 17 days ago