u/Ihaveanxiety123321

I think part of my problem is still care too much and that’s how he’s able to hook me back in. I don’t even mean with live bombing I mean even about when he insinuates he’s going to go cheat after an argument to make me feel anxious and that our relationship is in jeopardy. I want to just not give af and only worry about my life, you know? So pls help with your tips on how to not care and to how to remember I have power over my own life and he’s miserable. Thanks

So long story short I was friends with this girl for years and introduced her to my Nex. Ended up finding out later on that they were sneaking around and sleeping together behind my back and even when I confronted them I was lied to and abused and didn’t know what to believe. Fast forward years later it was confirmed to be true. Well, my Nex and I have been off/on for 8 years and he refuses to unfollow her on Instagram. I have begged, pleaded, cried my eyes out so many times and he berates me, gaslights me, etc. every time. And let me be clear, I have no contact with this girl since 7 years ago. Today, I saw he liked her most recent pic on Instagram and it was my final straw. I gave him an ultimatum and said he either unfollows her or I’m leaving him and he said he will never unfollow anybody on Instagram for anyone. He also told me she controls my life and tried to essentially gaslight tf out of me, we got into a brutal screaming match otp and I said hurtful things bc I’m hurt. He did too. It ended terrible and it honestly just sucks, I’m re-thinking everything, why did I even bring it up? Am I wrong? Idk

When things go his way, we get along pretty well (typical). Of course this means I don’t have a voice, an opinion, don’t ever get what I want in any aspect, etc. Lately I’ve decided to be a “yes woman” in our relationship just so we don’t argue or he doesn’t go into a rage bc it brings me debilitating anxiety and I end up feeling out of body which I hate. So yea, I’ve been intentionally making sure everything goes his way, he doesn’t have to lift a finger, pay for dates or lunch, we take my car so it’s on my gas, etc. For the most part we’ve been getting along really good… but it’s at the expense of my dignity, emotions,finances etc. and I hate it (naturally). I feel a growing resentment every time I swipe my card or put myself second. Resentment towards him & myself