u/Igotinvolved

My partner (29F) and I (26F) have been together for a little over 2 years. Before me, she had a very intense 3-year relationship with her ex, C (34F), who she said she deeply loved but no longer had feelings for. They had been no contact for years after a painful breakup.

Before we moved abroad together, my partner recommended C for her old job and trained her for a few days. Around that time, she brought home a sunflower keychain from C, which made me slightly jealous, though she said it meant nothing.

A month after moving countries, my partner told me she had started casually talking to C again. I later checked her phone because I felt insecure. The conversations weren’t explicitly inappropriate, but they felt emotionally familiar and playful.

Later, C told my partner she was pregnant. My partner told me she felt nothing about it, but I later found messages to a friend saying: “It hurts so much… you know the plans and intentions I had with C.” That completely broke me, especially because she had repeatedly told me she no longer had feelings for C.

I stayed silent for weeks because my partner was already struggling emotionally with immigration stress, family issues, and other problems. Meanwhile, I became consumed by insecurity and fear that she still loved C or would never fully get over her.

Eventually, I confronted her. She explained that she didn’t love C anymore, but the pregnancy destroyed the image and future she once imagined with her, and that was what hurt. She also said she no longer wanted contact with C.

Since then, both of us have worked on ourselves. Our communication is much healthier now, she has become more emotionally open and reassuring, and I’ve become more emotionally independent.

Sometimes the memory of everything comes back when i look at her. The sunflower keychain is still in her backpack, and although it no longer hurts intensely, it remains a quiet reminder of that period.

Fried salt and pepper prawns with garlic rice and veggies.