F42 and M34 Does this sound like a good situation to get into?
So, I recently started getting a little more serious with a friend. He says all the right things and hasn’t given me any reason to not believe or trust him. I’m 42F with 2 children (10 and 15) and he’s going to be 34M with 2 children (7 and 4). The first thing is the age. I told myself I’d never date anyone 5 years older or younger than me as that’s just my preference. The problem is, he still lives with his ex (4 year old’s mother) but says they aren’t together. I want so bad to believe him because before I left my ex, I was in a similar situation. I know financially it was easier and not having to disrupt the kid’s routines and lives. From what he has told me, it sounds like they are done and just living together for the kids.
Anyways, we kissed and briefly hooked up last week. We have been communicating a lot since and everything was going pretty good. I don’t know what it was about yesterday (Mother’s Day), but it spiraled into me overthinking this all. About his living situation with his ex, our age difference, and I told him I needed to think. I don’t know, I think it’s the part of him living with his ex and maybe feeling like it’s not truly over is what is making me overthink more so than the age issue. I told him if there’s even a shred of hope or chance that they can work it out, please choose her. That I would remove myself and let him be. It’s early on that I would be ok detaching but he 100 percent assured me that there was no way. I just can’t help but think that’s not the case. I know in my situation, I didn’t not want him anymore and I think the feeling was mutual when I finally left. I genuinely no longer had feelings for him. I just don’t know if I’m prejudging him and his situation? If I’m being irrational? If I’m being too cautious? If I should stop overthinking it and just take it slow? I really like him and ever since last week, I can’t stop thinking about him. Any and all advice is appreciated