Some people closer to my age (56) have a hard time admitting to themselves that they have mental health issues. As far as I’m concerned anyone from Gen X who doesn’t admit it…….well I just think, there isn’t a stigma anymore. Especially with younger generations and maybe in bigger cities.
Anyway, I have 2 people in my life that have mental illness and still won’t admit they do. So they absolutely can’t get help. But I’m wondering if I can get advice, please. My brother, 2 years older. Has basically used everyone up in my family emotionally and financially. I’ve let that go, same as, almost all our family. It’s the next person, my ex husband, that I need advice for. I know you’re thinking he’s an ex for a reason and you are right. I’m mostly asking for my ex-stepson and ex-stepdaughter whom I love and adore.
My ex and I were together for 19 years and we have known each other for 21 years. I met his son and daughter when they were 10 and 8. Their mother is amazing and I’ve never tried to take her place or be intrusive in their lives. But i love them 100% as much as my daughter from my 1st marriage. I’ve been watching my stepson come to the end of his rope.
A little more background. My ex is from another country, I’m American. Other than my ex and his son everyone else in their family lives very far away. I’ve tried to help as much as i can, without stepping on toes, and without compromising my own mental health. My stepson was able to make the “American dream” a reality. But because of that he is financially supporting his father in a huge way. Purchasing a house, a business, a vehicle, paid for him to fly all over in business class etc. My ex is bi-polar, has anger issues, ADHD and has self medicated in the past with drugs and alcohol. That’s a whole other story and pushed me to go Al-anon and deal with my own mental health.
For the last 6 months - 1 year my ex has been sliding into the worst low I’ve ever seen him. In the last 2years he lost his best friend, Dad and more recently his brother. I get the depression. But also in those 2 years his daughter got married, she had a baby and his son has given him everything. Nothing is shaking him up to do anything different. I would like his son to stop supporting him and we did go and confront him together. That was good but not enough. So I’m out of ideas, nothing seems to help. I would like my ex to hit some sorta wall, but I don’t think my ex stepson is willing to let that happen (at least not yet).
Any advice would be appreciated. I feel like we’ve had this in our heads so long I can’t even think anymore. I need clarity and if I could give my ex stepson some helpful advice. Thank you in advance. Sorry this is so long.
Best regards