For the first time in my life, someone told me that being a good person is the wrong way to live your life and is why I'm unsuccessful. Apparently NT's operate internally with "me first" intentions, while I am the fool who internally operates on "what is good for the community". This came up while in a drive thru for McDonalds, where they had two windows at the end, labeled 1 and 2. Typically you drive to the last window to pick up your order, so that the car behind can go to the other window which allows McDonalds to serve two cars at once, speeding up the process. Well, I drove to the last window and as I passed the first one, my partner said there was a clerk at the first window. I explained the process and how I was at the correct window. Unfortunately there was no one at the window and after waiting for a couple of minutes my partner started berating me about how stupid I was and that I should have stopped at the first window because there was a person there, and only gone to the 2nd window if they told me to. Here I thought I was doing the restaurant and the cars behind me a favor by helping them speed up the process, and also sending out positive vibes into the universe, but apparently I did an evil thing by forcing us to go starving with no food for a few minutes.
I could not back up the car since there were cars behind me, but I was losing it myself so I backed up anyway and wrestled my car into the spot after 4 cars got there food already. I asked the clerk why the 2nd window wasn't open and they said that it doesn't work. Yet there was no sign on the window and no sign at the ordering section to warn us not to go to that window. So I was wondering, were they just AH who don't care about anyone else or were they too stupid to inform customers? I settled on the latter in order to forgive and forget. But for the past week I've been struggling with the realization that my partner is right, that the world doesn't operate like I do, and that if I want to achieve anything in life that I have to be assertive, selfish and take what I want because no one is going to hand me anything or any opportunities for just being a good person. Even restaurants are not operating to serve customers, they are operating to sell you something and make money, with the customers experience and convenience an afterthought.
It dawned on me that NTs to me are all narcissists. They largely only care about themselves and only show empathy (often well timed exaggerated empathy) when it benefits them. If true narcissists are 99% selfish, "normal" people are 90% selfish and unempathetic. What kind of a monstrous world am I living in? Why would I want to raise kids in this world?