u/Idkoyasumi

hope yall are doing well.
I’ve been having this uncomfortable feeling in my tooth. It’s a refilled tooth, and there was a weird gap where food keeps getting stuck, which is really uncomfortable and hard to clean. the space was so tight that I couldn’t even get floss through it, so I went back to the dentist and told her it didn’t feel right and that I couldn’t floss it, she said that I was exaggerating.
I’ve gone to another dentist and he did the opposite and made the space too big. That when I bite down on something, I feel it in my gum. It’s like I’m biting with my gum because the gap is so large.
Since then I was kinda fixited on the feeling, that every time I ate, I clean it, but it still didn’t feel right or comfortable it like there is something stuck, especially when I’m stressed. I think stress makes it way worse for me, so I started using a flossing stick and digging or scrubbing the space and the tooth, trying to make it feel right or comfortable and sometimes my gums start to bleed so much and the gum is inflamed, but I never stoped. Sometimes I do this for hours, and the side of my mouth is really so irritated and painful, and discolored it looks like a burn.
I feel so overwhelmed and frustrated. I keep telling myself I don’t have OCD and I’m lying, but then I feel like I’m just lying to myself even more and hurting myself on purpose and that this is normal to do.
I also feel so ashamed when my sister points out and reacts so strongly to how the side of my lips looks and says it’s scary and that I need to stop. I know she doesn’t mean to hurt me, but it still makes me feel worse.