This feeling sucks.
I actually cannot tell if this is me venting or explaining so I'm going to mark it as venting. Feel free to respond as needed.
Lets start off by saying. I have slight doubts about any sort of people existing in my own brain. But, i'm not doubting I do.
I feel like Rae gets triggered a lot. She never controls the body, never really talks to me. never does much of anything with me. But she feels more active when "Void" is mentioned or something makes me upset/angry.
When said trigger/triggers happen, my head feels fuzzy, i feel a slight headache and then I just feel less, there.
Its like she wants to come up front. like she's trying to pull me away from the control panel, but just cannot seem to do so whenever she tries. this can last minutes to hours.
I am not asking for medical advice, and honestly. I'm pretty sure its nothing. its just a weird thing that happens when those specific events or when specific words are spoken.
Another trigger is just me talking about her at all, I think she either likes or hates the fact I give her attention. I think she's more used to me going silent on her by accident(adhd guys, i forget quite a lot.)
I don't doubt she's there(most of the time) I just..sometimes I feel like i'm faking it and lying to everyone for attention, other times the people i created just so happen to be everything I ever want to talk about.
I dont know..that feelings back again and it makes everything feel super weird. I never really bring this up to people because I like to pass everything off as "not a big deal"...I cannot tell if this is because she is watching me type all this as we speak or I'm doing that without realising
(Eugh, thats confusing to read..I'm sorrry...-Copper)
edit: I'm currently laughing about it, its not bad. the feeling got worse- ITS KINDA FUNNY BUT IT'S WORSE???