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I am struggeling with the same type of thing. Last year I have felt awful. It started I was confused over If I had feelings for a friend, trying to figure it out etc. Sometimes I felt when we were hanging out that I tried to feel if I felt something. We were close friends and I felt like I sometimes initiated hang outs (together with others)because it was a normal thing we have Done for a long time since we are a Group of friends. But i felt like i initiated sometimes with the intention so that I could figure Out what I felt and thought and had these ”are we more compatible and stuff”. After a few Months when I was past that, I confessed to my love because I felt so bad and awful. Like I had cheated mentally. I felt relief, then I noticed I every time remebered something new, like ”did I went makeup for some time for another Guy or this Guy for me to feel pretty?” Stuff like that that I remembered and just felt the need to confessing otherwise I was not worthy of his love. I have tried to stop now, he also enats me to stop because he has Said that nothing has been a huge deal and He feels only the pain has transferred to him. I felt good for some time. Newest thing now is something I remember when we were going to move in totgethwr. It was a year ago and when all of this started. I remember this friend, he was also going to move and I just remember sliglht from one time we all talked about his apartment I dont know if he had been in it that day or so just for some reason we were talking about it. I remember getting intrusive thoughts about how would everything be, I think my thoughts just was spinning about the future where would I be was that the place I was going to be in and that friend and not my boyfriend? Things like that and I was so scared. Next second as always I got feelings of guilt like how could I think so, not at all what i want and I got sad. The one thing i am panicing over now is why did I ask those questions about where the apartment was and how big it was. Of course i would have asked it anyway since it was his new place, but did I ask just that time because I also wondered and had Thoughts about if that was where I eventuelly would be instead. Can someone help me. I can not come with this anymore. Do you think this is something i need to confess? I think no as this is a part of my rocd i guess, but i can not tell what is big and need to be confessed and not :/