Sucky first Mother’s Day :(
I’m 38 weeks pregnant on Mother’s Day. I’ve had loads of texts from family wishing me happy first Mother’s Day and so on. My husband knew it was Mother’s Day of course. We had plans to go to my grandma’s with my mom so he knew. When we woke up the day of he got up and said he needed to call his mom and wish her a happy Mother’s Day. I was kind of sad that wasn’t the first thing he said to me since I’m literally carrying his son and having a really hard time mentally being pregnant. He came back from being on the phone and I’m pretty sure his mom told him to tell me that she says happy first Mother’s Day to me so then he realized and said it to me. I just kind of said thanks cause I could tell it wasn’t by his own thought.
I started getting ready for my grandmas and asked if he could make me 4 toaster waffles before we go cause I was starving but needed to blow dry my hair. I came down from blow drying my hair and smelled waffles coming from the kitchen, but when I got to the kitchen he was making himself coffee and there was no waffles, the toaster was out, and he was watching a YouTube video on his phone. He saw that I looked around and then asked me what’s wrong. I just said nothing and grabbed something from my bag.
He then told me that he did make me waffles but he ate them because I never came down for them… I asked him why he didn’t tell me they were ready or why he didn’t bring them up to me and he just responded saying he will make them now. I went upstairs and started crying cause I was hungry and feel like he just made waffles for himself then when he noticed I was upset at him for not making them for me he tried to blame me for not getting them because I was taking too long to get ready.
He came back upstairs and gave me a plate of the 4 waffles while I was in the bathroom and left. As I bit into them two were still frozen in the middle. I cried and cried and eventually it was time to go. I go downstairs to make myself a to go coffee and he was playing video games. I told him I was ready and he said okay that he was waiting on me. Then he could tell I was crying when we got in the car and said things like “no way you’re mad about waffles” and “you’re crying over spilt milk”. I threw some things out of his car that were in my way and he said that I was being dramatic. I don’t feel that I was at all.
My husband and I have been together since we were 16, we are 22 now, married last July. We had a miscarriage a week before our wedding then got pregnant again a month later. I can have this current baby any day now. My husband is a very hard worker, in the Coast Guard and makes it possible for me to not work a job (I want to be a SAHM). We love hanging out and being together, he’s the only person I ever actually want to be around. We laugh and play and are sweet with each other just like any regular couple who is in love.. we don’t have issues with communication or money and I feel we are in a healthy relationship.
When we were 16 he used to celebrate every little thing. I’m talking month to month “anniversaries” throughout the whole first year. He’d hand make little cards with drawings, write love letters, flowers, chocolates, take me out to eat, go on trips, bring me coffee just cause. He had a hobby of making music and his songs would be about me and our love. I’ve had birthdays where I’ve woken to flowers and breakfast in bed. I’ve even received Easter gifts and cards from him because that’s how much he loved just getting me something for any occasion. Pregnancy has been super hard mentally like I said. I’ve become very depressed, I mostly just sit in bed all day cause I’m so tired and just in a low mood. He knows this and still didn’t do anything to celebrate me for Mother’s Day.
I try to take his job into consideration and his sacrifice that he has done for our little growing family. He comes home very tired. He is on call when he’s at work so he has to sleep there a few days out of the week. We see each other less because of it.. I can see it on his face that he is just exhausted and I know my miserable pregnant self hasn’t made coming home any easier. I cry a lot, I’m easily annoyed, and hungry all the time. I feel bad for him cause he is such a deeply caring guy usually and he’s truly the light of my life. I just feel so sad about not being celebrated yesterday. He knows I’ve had a really hard time on this journey into motherhood and I did not get to fully grieve the loss of our first baby because I got pregnant again so soon after. During pregnancy I have also become insanely insecure and anxious about what kind of mother I will be. He says I am already a great mother.. I feel unseen.