Hey everyone,
I’m a 23-year-old guy currently living in Germany in a small town. I also study here, and after going through quite a few challenges since moving, I’m now slowly starting to learn the language.
I’ve been here for about a year, and honestly, I feel like I’m stuck socially.
Back in my home country, I had a not great but decent social life. But since moving here, everything basically reset to zero.
I’ve tried going to clubs and bars alone a few times (4–5 times so far), but it’s been tough:
- People already come in groups, so it is hard to break in.
- The general vibe here feels more reserved compared to what I’m used to.
- Language and culture barrier makes it hard to connect (I’m still learning German step by step). I'm visually fine and not in a stereotype to which some racistic fellas usually show some discrimination. But still get vibes to be felt as "the other one".
- Most of the people living where I live seem to already built their sweet-chambers with an ordinary relationship and a few friends who they are attending rural-size activities with. So they are not actually the type of people chasing something "exciting".
I'm a single guy often end up just being alone the whole wasted night went asleep at a random mcdonalds.
I tried pub crawl events, but they’re expensive and usually in bigger cities far away, which makes logistics difficult (transport, staying overnight, etc.) and also after third time I start feeling weirdo since everyone is usually a visitor-for-once.
So I’m realizing this probably isn’t something I can “solve” by just going out randomly. I think I need to build some kind of social infrastructure from scratch — but I don’t know how to do that effectively in this situation.
My questions are:
- How would you build a glazing social gang from zero in a small town in abroad?
- What are realistic strategies when you don’t speak the language fluently yet?
- Are there better environments than bars/clubs for meeting people in this situation?
- How do you deal with the mental side of doing everything alone for so long?
I’m also open to long-term strategies, not just quick fixes.
Thanks in advance — I’d especially appreciate any advice from people who’ve been through something similar.