Considering
I’m really starting to deconstruct my views around marriage + monogamy in particular. I’m from a religious bg (m30, christian upbringing) and been married for 6 years to my wife who i met at Church.
Over the past 3-4 years I’ve basically questioned my faith to the point where it no longer makes sense and i’m kinda done. That co-incides with a ‘slippery slope’ re-consideration of sex and marriage and other women and my desires. My wife is amazing and I’d like to stay with her, but sexually i've been dis from the get go. She is very conservative and I’m more and more adventurous. The only time we fuck anymore is if I’m thinking of others, lights out. I’d genuinely rather have a wank to porn most of the time. So many of my desires have been off the table since the start (we’re not even talking particularly kinky stuff here - literally blowjobs and cumshots and her taking my load in her mouth lol. There is so much I’d like to do beyond this).
Anyway, I’ve started to re-determine what morally I’m ok with. And it’s leaving me pretty much staring an affair in the face. As I deconstruct so does my consideration of ‘wrong’ - I watch porn, and jerk off (duh.). That is to JOIs more and more and sometimes to OF girls / mutual chat (e.g. on Reddit). In my head watching porn isn’t any different to jerking off with another girl. If I did that, what’s the difference if she was doing the jerking? If she’s doing that, why not a blowjob? Why cant I lick her pussy then? Hopefully you can see where I get to here.
Anyway; not sure what my reason for sharing is, but I guess i’m interested to hear if anyone has a potentially similar background / story / and what happened from there?
Oh, and my wife is my first and only. FWIW 😂