I have mostly male coworkers and colleagues in my field, and when I got pregnant I heard so many variations of “I mean, there is only so much the dad can do” or “I mean, what can dads really do for a baby?”
Sometimes it was in an off handed way, sometimes it was as an add on to why they didn’t take all their paternity, sometimes it was in a recognition of the hard work of moms.
Well, my little one is almost a month old and what I have come to realize is that the answer to the question “what can dads really do for a baby?” is …. basically everything a Mom can do!!!!!!
With the exception of breastfeeding my husband has done all the same things I have. Changing diapers, calming / swaddling / getting up with a fussy baby, dealing with all the housework. Heck, he’s even fed the baby a bottle I pumped as back up in the middle of the night to spare me the extra wake up.
I’m now wondering what all of these guys were talking about. Are they truly oblivious to all the things that need to be done? Are their wives so particular about every detail that they feel disempowered from caring for the baby? (this is the impression I’ve gotten from one or two guys), Are they not capable of basic tasks like putting clothes on a baby? Am I missing something that I should be doing that only moms can do? Is the work going to get more “mom heavy” as the baby gets older?
I’m curious of other parents’ takes because I probably got some variation of that comment from 15 different guys who are dads.