u/Icy-Visit6030

My close friend has been in a DV situation with this guy whose mother is a DV advocate. He has physically hurt her and got her kicked out of her place. I had to move so I couldn’t be there for her anymore and I’ve been so so worried. This guy lives with his mom still and my friend has been going over there to stay the night. I knew she was a DV advocate and I hoped that maybe she could keep an eye out for her. My friend is resistant to getting any help so this led to me contacting his mother and telling her about her son in the most respectful way I could think to and asking her to keep an eye out for the girl that’s been in her house. I didn’t disclose my friend’s name to give my friend deniability and I thought she received it well. However, I found out that this DV advocate completely betrayed those values in favor of her son and immediately told him everything. They tried to identify me, but thankfully I had contacted her anonymously so they started brainstorming other leads or whatever about it being one of his exes that he also abused. This was good because my friend was able to avoid backlash from what I did, but it’s also insane that they could call to mind all of his exes that he abused so easily. I feel like I fucked up so bad and I am so angry that she still operates her DVA program while protecting her abuser son. Idk where I’m going with this but I’d welcome any advice. I know I shouldn’t be shocked that a mother wants to protect her son, but he’s abused so many women in the area that she operates. I just don’t think it’s right for a DV advocate to protect an abuser and I feel like DV survivors would want to know this about her organization