Hiii. I can't sleep :((. First of all, please don't laugh at me and I know I'm kind of stupid already to even get into this situation..
We met 3 weeks ago. In that 3 weeks we had instant connection. I was already attracted to him the moment I saw him, and I fell even more deeply when we started talking. He felt the same way so a few days later we started confessing feelings. And now, though we aren't really an official couple yet, we have been talking to each other, getting to know each other, and sometimes we see each other in video calls.
We have this future dream of meeting each other, living together, and starting a family. He had repeatedly told me that I am the one he wants to marry in the future and be the mother of his children. I know it's too early to say that, but at least I believe him that he's sincere because I know in myself that I am sincere and capable of loving someone.
Just a few days a ago I found this account of a girl, also from my country. They follow each other and he also likes her photos. I ignored it. Then this night he admits he can't do long distance. He said it's better to be real with me than to hurt each other in the long run and that we will have this conversation eventually. I also asked him about the girl and he admits he also met her online and was also attracted to her but not the same way he was attracted to me. He told me he can't go to my country for at least another 5 years. I told him, I can go to his country after two years after my graduation. I am planning to work abroad in Europe as a teacher anyway even before I met him so it's not like I'm changing my whole life for him. I'm just laying these possible solutions.
Now, I'm just so confused. It fucking hurts too much. I know it's only been 3 weeks. But idk. I didn't cry like this when I broke up with my ex of 3yrs. What I felt with him was different. Because I felt loved, heard, and appreciated by him which I never felt before with my exes. Also, I just love him so much :(( I am going to miss him. His face, presence, voice. My dreams of taking care of him in the future and being with him, all gone.
I badly want this to work. But my trust issues are so bad right now.. I've had 2 exes already before him who both cheated. I took a leap of faith when I trusted him. Now idk. I just feel stupid.
Is there any way we can make this work? Anyone here who had experienced this and survived? Thank you and please be kind 🥺