15M confused after 4-5 months of mixed signals from 15F at church involving her ex/friend group — how do I move forward without making things worse?
Hey y’all, I genuinely want outside opinions because this situation has been messing with my head for weeks.
I’m 15M and there’s this girl from church (15F) that I liked for around a year. The problem is the whole situation got super confusing because of my friend/her ex (14M).
For context, her ex is one of my friends. Around the beginning of all this he got sent away for a month and later got kicked out of church because of vaping and running away a lot. During that time, my friends kept joking that this was my “chance,” but I never actually tried to get with her while he was gone because I felt wrong doing that to my friend.
About a month later he came back around and even asked ME to help write an apology note to her. She said the note was pathetic, but even after that he was still around her all the time, way more than I was. He could go to her house every week while I barely even talked to her outside church.
Then after another couple months he got kicked out of church again, and my friends started encouraging me to talk to her more since the ex was out of the picture. I was hesitant because I didn’t want drama or to ruin friendships, so instead I had a mutual friend ask her what she thought about me. The answers I got back were super mixed. One minute it sounded like she might like me, the next minute it sounded like she still loved my friend and I should stop trying.
A little after that I finally asked her directly if her and my friend/ex were together. She responded with “why?” and when I got nervous she told me to leave her alone. That honestly crushed me because I felt like maybe I completely misread everything.
But then about a week later we had a long conversation at church, she was laughing, talking to me normally, and acting friendly again. So I got confused all over again because it felt like things were okay.
Then another week later I sent her a small note saying I liked her hoodie. At our church boys and girls sit separately, so passing notes is a whole process. She ended up tearing the note up and telling an elder, and suddenly adults got involved and the entire thing became really embarrassing for me. And she lied and said she never liked anyone even ex/friend. Then after they found out it was me they called me a bitch for lying about even sending the note and i had to say sorry to her father which in itself was tragic for me.
Now it’s been another couple weeks and I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to act around her or move on from this without creating more awkwardness or drama in our church/friend group. For people who’ve dealt with mixed signals or messy friend situations before, what’s the healthiest way to move forward from this?