We've been engaged for nine months, wedding is this fall and somehow between venue deposits and guest lists and everything else that comes with planning our wedding we never once stopped to talk about money until last week and it's been rattling around in my head ever since.
I budget, save and have no debt and have been consistent about it for years so I went in assuming we were roughly on the same page because we'd never had any real tension around money before but what came out of it knocked me sideways. He has zero savings and has been carrying credit card debt for years without ever mentioning it and when I brought up how we were going to handle that before the wedding he said we'd FIGURE IT OUT on the other side of it. When I kept pushing he said I was being controlling, that not everyone thinks about money the way I do and that combining finances is what marriage is for and it all evens out eventually. He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world like I was the one making it complicated. We're four days into this and every time I think we've gotten somewhere something else comes up. I've spent years building something I'm proud of and I don't think he fully understands what he's asking me to walk away from.