My avoidant ex dumped me a little over a month ago, completely out of the blue. We were together for 2.5 years.
It was pretty awful and sudden. I stayed with him through his depression, intimacy issues, communication problems, constant rejection, rudeness to my family, the list goes on with the amount of problems we had… the first year of our relationship was bordering on emotional abuse.
I supported him to the point of self sacrificing and gave so much of myself only to get thrown out like garbage.
It was a month of deep depression for me, missing him like crazy. It was to the point where I needed to do something to snap myself out of it so I got on a dating app. It’s not like he was at home longing for me, he was already liking other girls bikini pics (and probably on the apps too in typical avoidant fashion).
I ended up matching with his brother’s boss/ close friend who I had met at a family gathering about a year ago. We had a lot in common and got along like wildfire when we had met. I actually remember sensing a little insecurity from my ex when he saw how well we got on.
I’ve been talking to this guy for the past few days since we matched. Already he’s showing so much more interest in my life, actually asking me questions, complimenting me. He’s said I was special, my ex never made me feel that way, actually quite the opposite.
I don’t think I’m ready pursue a relationship with him and even though we get along great, I think he might be a littleeee bit of a player so I’m being careful with my heart. I’m just looking to make new memories, hang out, go on a few dates and see where it takes us (who knows!) and I guess fill a bit of a void if I’m being honest.
No idea how my ex is going to react but it doesn’t really matter tbh given how badly he ended things. Even though he’s liking girls pics already he’s also been liking some pretty deeply sad/ feelings of regret stuff - typical emotional rollercoaster of his. I’m not doing it to piss him off at all - although it wouldn’t be the worst thing ;), I just am trying to get myself out of this pathetic funk.
I still feel this sadness in my chest for my ex, wondering what he’s up to, and I do miss him but I feel it starting to fade after talking to new people cause it does give me perspective on how bad he was for me.
Do you think I’m rushing into things by already starting to explore new people only after a month?