I'm a confident, capable, decisive married man and life outside work is excellent. My boss told me I'm "#2 in command and basically run the company" and then spent the last 5 years undermining every decision and gas-lighting me when her decisions don't work out.
I've fixed the relationship by adjusting to make everything her idea. Rather than making a decision, I run it past her and massage it until my idea becomes her idea and we get things done. It's still terrible, but I'm no longer getting ambushed on meetings about the things on my plate and performance.
The issue now - I've become over accommodating and indecisive in my marriage. I constantly as what she wants (dinner, turn left or right, tv shows - whatever). My wife FINALLY popped this morning and painted the honest picture for me, and she's absolutely right. I've become gun shy with decisions because I don't want to make the wrong choice and have to hear about it. My wife doesn't do that - my boss does.
So, my question to the community - I can't leave my job, and I've gotten pretty good at diffusing and detaching there, but I need help turning off work, and switching back into authentic, decisive me mode at home.
I'm open to all things. I appreciate any wisdom you can share!