Baby will be born with heart defect
Don’t really know why I’m posting this. Just need to get it out. We’re currently expecting our first baby and just had the anatomy ultrasound done on Thursday. We were not expecting to talk to a doctor at that appointment (we had another one scheduled afterwards that we were expecting to be a follow-up to the ultrasound) but right after the ultrasound they brought us to a different room and told us a doctor will see us in a minute. That already made us nervous. And, well, we were right to be.
The doctor came in and told us our baby has Tetralogy of Fallot. She told us that with modern medicine, the survival chances of that condition are excellent, but our baby will need open heart surgery within her first weeks to months alive. She will likely need several surgeries throughout her life and will need to see a cardiologist every year her whole life.
The shock is starting to wear off and we’re trying to make the best of it. We’re telling ourselves we’re lucky that it was caught so early so we can prepare, and that we have excellent doctors in our area. We’re also trying to proceed as normal. We just did some more work on the nursery today.
But man… this is getting to me. All I can see when I close my eyes, is my baby on a cold surgery table, with her chest open. The thought of that makes me feel like my own heart is about to be crushed. It’s not fair. I wish it were me instead.
I’m not sharing that thought with my fiancee. She’s already scared enough and she is narcoleptic so the pregnancy is already hard enough on her. She obviously knows I’m scared too but I’m trying to portray at least some stability that she can lean on. So yeah, I just had to get it out here. I just wish I could get that mental image out of my head. I don’t see myself getting a good night’s sleep again until well after the surgery, if ever.