u/IchadhariNagin

To give a background, I have been married for a year and a half now. Love marriage. It was 1.5 years of relationship and later engaged for 1.5 years. Most of it was long distance.

After marriage, we shifted to a new country immediately. I did not have a job but worked part time, while my husband (29M) was pursuing his Masters. During that time, we fought a lot mostly because of lack of emotional support from his end and us adjusting to our new life. He never helped in any of the chores, always expected me to do it. Even when asked, he would do it according to his will. He had a break for 2 months and was at home while I worked my part time job, but he would still not do the chores and I had to clean up after coming home. He expected me to do all this, plus extra planning and complained always about how I didn't support him at all except for making food for him. I took the job because we had a financial crunch, also gave him a part of my savings which I got no accountability for till now.

We went back to India for some months to help out his mother who had gotten surgery. My in-laws are orthodox. They expect me to help with house work, spend time with them, spend more time with them than my own parents, dress up, smile and serve the guests. :)

Coming to now, we are back in the previous country and my husband is working full time while I work part time four days a week and manage all the house work. Apart from this, I am learning a new language. Things have gotten worse, he keeps asking me about every spend I make (it's grocery and house essentials), keeps criticizing me for spending money, even when our household expenses are at an average level here. I don't ask him for any money for personal use. Fights have escalated. I don't expect him to help with house chores on weekdays but on weekends I sometimes ask for help. Mind you, even when I am in pain, I have to "ask" him to help me out. He has told me "I pay for all your expenses" several times during fights and that has hurt me a lot. Despite telling him the same, he has continued doing the same. There are no weekend outings, no plans from his side and no holidays. All he wants to do is be at home and at the most go to have food. Even if I initiate any plans for the weekend, we do and he is grumpy all the time. Even now, he keeps taunting me about how I don't "support" him in anything except food, which he can get from outside. I have tried doing everything he has asked me to, but if I have anything which bothers me about him he never tries to make it right. His excuse is "you change first, then I will think about it".

The love is lost and I feel like I am better off alone. I still care for him but it hurts that this was the person who used to put efforts in all matters before our marriage. I never thought he would be like this. 💔

I am so done with him! 29F married and fed up of husband 29M