Feeling invisible again today
Tried to talk to my husband when he got home and got paused and interrupting three times before I gave up after he was done with work messages I waited for him to say ok babe you can tell me now but that didn’t happen he went back to scrolling on socials
Finished feeding the kids so got up to clean as there was a lot of dishes and it is too much to leave for the next day and becomes overwhelming for me
My 1.5 year old kept crying and grabbing my legs and pushing me then my 3.5 year old kept chasing him into the kitchen and it was dangerous I kept telling them to leave the kitchen and looked at my husband and he was just scrolling or writing work messages so after my 1.5 cried for five minutes more I left and went to cry and sit in the play room for ten minutes
I then got up to try again, my 1.5 year old cried for 10 minutes and my husband did not look up once making me feel invisible again, I just kept saying it’s ok babe and trying to sooth him
My husband starting calling out his name a few times to try and make him come to him and eventually got up after another few attempts and grabbed him then he sat on the couch watching tv with both boys
While finishing the dishes my husband got a call from his friend and he was upbeat and happy and laughing on the phone making me feel worthless and annoying like what I say isn’t important and cared about
He then goes on to tell him that he will there on Friday night for a boys dinner at another friends house even though the last few weeks he has been working every Friday morning and night as a staff member is on leave but he is going to leave because his friend is having a dinner. This upset me as I asked him pretty much begged him to please not work the Friday night and sort something else out as I need him at home because having two little ones and being pregnant is very hard at the moment and he said he can’t and we argued but for his friend he changed his work plans.
I am now in a dark room writing this message and he hasn’t even come to see where I am as he hasn’t even noticed I’m missing.
I have just started bath time for both boys which is hard for me because of the pregnancy as I’m in pain and my back hurts really bad and my husband usually waits to carry my older son to the room as I’m not allowed to carry him but this time he just said you don’t need me do you I feel asleep on the couch ? I said nope all good you can go as I don’t want to be a burden or nagging wife asking for help so he didn’t argue and went to bed leaving me on my own to do bath time.
Feeling more invisible than I’ve ever felt before.