I CRASHED OUT
I CRASHED OUT!!!
I WAS LIVING WITH MY AUNT BECAUSE MY PARENTS ABANDONED ME
Ps: I’m writing this not to spread hate for my aunt.I am genuinely sharing this for me to gain understanding from whoever will be reading this.
I was having a conversation with my tito through video call and we talk some matters then umabot dun about sa banko.My tita heard our conversation because she was at the rome and sometimes lumalabas because I was at the sala and the so it’s impossible not to hear our convo because it’s on loud speaker.During conversation I was unsure feel dumb answering then I will heard my tita complaining na “mango”(dumb) ako kuno.
After the convo pumasok nako sa kwarto then there my tita started talking,sermon,laygay,sumbat,about doubting me na ikinasama ng loob ko.This is not the first time,this always happen it accumulated inside me na akala niya na parang wala lang sakin.I don’t care what her intention saying that to me but what is important is how I take it.Alam ko a siguro parangal but NO it was full of doubts,complaint at kung ano ano parang.This is it na.
She asked me to turn off the lights.I stand picked my pillow and ipad.I said”I am sleeping outside”my voice,the sama ng loob is obvious but sabi niya “huwag mo ako ma attitude”.I yurned of the lights and went out but sinundan niya ako dahil gusto niya doon ako sa kwarto matulog then she threatened me na kung sa sala ako matutulog papalabasin niya ako ng bahay.So I obeyed I started crying.
Tatabi paba ako sa tao na matulog na nagpasama ng loob ko at minaliit ako?Para sa kanila wala lang yun pero saakin dinibdib ko yun,naipon.
I cried.I talked back.I crashed out.
SHE filmed it.My crash out she think I was crazy,
Lahat na gusto kung sabihin,sinabi ko but what I get is? IM CRAZY KUNO
I’m depressed.I was diagnosed of depressive disorder.But I stopped coming to the psychiatrist why?
Because I believe there will be no healing if your environment is toxic.I was verbally abused halos everyday.Kung ano ang sinasabi niya yun ang pinaniwalaan ko na ganon ako.Pumapasok lahat na negative sa utok ko.
She said I made my self a victim.
During the crash out I was expecting for her to understand me.But instead she thinks I’m crazy.She calls me crazy all the time.
and By the way SHE IS A PUBLIC SERVANT,A TEACHER
I AM THANKFUL FOR HER BUT I HATE HER AT THE SAME TIME
and know Im at the sala but she put all my clothes outside the house.
I WAS ASKING FOR UNDERSTANDING
BUT I REMEMBER HER SAYING THIS TO ME.
YOUR GENERATION IS WEAK.ONE TOUCH THEN YOUR SENSITIVE
I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SOONER so my crash out was useless.
Im currently laying and the wooden chair right know.Bukas natin malalaman kung tuluyan na ba ako palayasin.
I AM SPEAKING BECAUSE I HAVE A VOICE.I CARE FOR MY SELF
I ENDURESD THIS FOR A LONG TIME,NONE FROM THE PEOPLE WHO SORROUNDS ME UNDERSTANDS ME.BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE MORE SA AUNT KO.
IM NOT SAYING THAT SHE IS LYING BUT I WANT PEOPLE TO LET ME SHARE THE SIDE OF MY STORY AND BE MORE OPEN AND ANALYZE WELL THE SITUATION .WHO HAS WIDE UNDERSTAND.
DEAR GOD,I HOPE I WILL HEAL SOMEDAY.