Exhausted.....
I'm absolutely exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. I was injured at work December 7, 2024 by carrying a cryo cuff ice bucket for a patient who had shoulder surgery. I am employed as a nurse for the VA. I love my job. I don't know if I will be able to return to work in the same capacity, and if I do, I would not be surprised if I'm let go. i know the legally cannot use my injury against me for termination, but there are always loopholes (she's not compliant with CPR, she's not up to date on trainings, etc). I've seen it done to coworkers who were let go due not being current on CPR while on leave (our CPR is completed every 3 months). I've been out for 17 months. I had two surgeries in a 8 month time span (Surgery #1 was a bicep tenodesis, capsular release, SLAP repair, and debridement in April 2025. Surgery #2 was MUA, extensive debridement, with repairs to labrum and RTC due to fraying in December 2025). I am 3.5 months post-op from my second surgery, and I'm still in excruciating pain (7-9/10 on a daily basis. I think it's become my baseline now). PT has stated I should not have this amount of pain (it's a cap of pain on my shoulder. It's a sharp, searing pain, primarily on the front edge where the RTC tendons join the shoulder, and along my clavicle.....I'm not sure how to fully describe it). I can't sleep on my operated side (which is the side I *usually* sleep on). I can't lift my arms to brush my hair or teeth without pain. Taking a shower is challenging, but can be done, it just takes a while. Picking up a cup is painful. Wearing a bra? Pffft....forget about it. Putting dishes away into a cabinet that is eye level is excruciating. I have to rely on my husband for *so* much. He says he doesn't mind, but I do. I've always been extremely independent, and hate asking for help, especially with simple tasks. It's starting to take a toll on my wellbeing. I'm typically extremely independent, but I am no more. My husband and I have started going on walks to get us out of the house and get some type of exercise.
I'm currently waiting for a approval for a second (third) opinion to see if anything else can be done. Personally, I think I have a tear the MRI missed since contrast dye was not used (even if ordered, I can't have contrast due to a fish/seafood allergy). I know MRI's are deemed the *gold standard* but they can be wrong.
I'm just venting due to frustration, but if anyone has any ideas, I'm ready to hear them. 🙂