Pregnant and Miserable
My husband (29M) and I (29F) have been married for about a year and a half. He’s from an Arab country, I’m a western revert.
I just fell pregnant and I am feeling really miserable. Everything hurts, I’m falling asleep at work (I work remotely), my body feels weird, and I’m not enjoying anything like I did before.
We are doing okay financially but not great. I give my husband 1/2 from my salary which covers a chunk of our rent and he pays for everything else. That said, I can’t really afford to ball out or go on a shopping spree for the baby, and it’s important I don’t lose my job.
I’ve been wanting to go hiking (he doesn’t like it) and he just banned it for the duration of my pregnancy. It’s got me feeling even more miserable now. My daily routine is just WFH, cook, maybe light walking now, and sleep. He’s even suggested I don’t use the apartment treadmill, and only walk on the ground, because the “shaking” could kill the baby.
His reasoning is that if I have a miscarriage I would never forgive myself etc. From his thinking though, I’ve started to feel nervous that if I have a miscarriage for any reason, he would blame me. He thinks anything other than light walking could cause it.
I feel miserable without exercise. He has just one friend in this area we moved to, and lately I’ve been missing my friends and family in another state. (We’re currently living in the US for context).
Even though his intention is good (protect wife and baby) it’s making me feel like I’m going to be a house prisoner for the next two years, I.e. when the baby is small and while I’m pregnant. I miss doing hobbies I actually like, which I realized after reverting to Islam all revolved around sport. After living in a Muslim country and meeting my husband there, I realize this is a cultural clash that’s just not going to be easily overcome.
I’ve talked to a couple people about being nervous to have a baby while we are still lower middle class/poor, and they just tell me I need to have stronger iman and be thankful for the blessing. And I am and I don’t mean disrespect to Allah SWT by feeling bad but I really do. I already feel guilty for not connecting with this baby and pregnancy like I maybe should be.
From my husband’s viewpoint and culture, he’s fairly liberal with me, I.e. you can go out to get coffee during the day. But from my viewpoint he is very strict. I guess I’m just here to ask if any other sisters have dealt with these feelings in pregnancy or these cultural differences in marriage. Just to feel less alone.