u/Iamtir3dtoday

Gran with mild-moderate dementia, at the point where she really needs to be with family. Plans in the works to move her in with my mum this summer, gran coming around to the idea, things going well. A carer hired in the meantime, LPA for finances enacted because she cannot manage her own finances anymore, house going up for sale.

Gran's son, who lives in Australia, called her today to wish her happy birthday (two bloody weeks after her bloody birthday). He's never in contact even prior dementia would ignore her calls. Last visited a year ago, saw her for a day and decided she doesn't have dementia.

Anyway god knows what he said on the call but she's now incredibly combative, has told her carer not to come over tomorrow, says she is not moving, not happy for us to help with finances anymore and thinks she is completely fine. Meanwhile I have an email from him asking if consent was sought before we 'removed money' from her bank account - yes, to pay for her carer, which you would know about if you bothered to answer any of your bloody emails!!!!!!!

Have sent him a long, measured, 'here is the situation' email back. Probably won't even get a reply, meanwhile we're starting from square one again because a stupid man thousands of miles away who has ignored his mother for decades thinks he knows better. Arsehole. The end.

I have a little cat who I adopted when she was 8 weeks old. My pal rescued a pregnant street cat and she was the tiniest of the litter. We spent the first 4.5 years of her life living in the city before moving to the countryside. She is so much happier in the countryside and it really shows.

My partner & I have split up, who I met when she was 4. I’m moving back to the city. I want to take my cat with me but she’s 10 now and really loves where we live - I’m worried I’m making the wrong decision and am now considering doing what may be best for her and leaving her where she is happiest. This of course means that I wouldn’t see her again, which is absolutely breaking my heart.

Anyone else been in a similar situation? What did you do? Thanks.

We’re Jewish by Jewish law - my maternal great grandmother was the daughter of a Rabbi and decided not to pass Judaism down. I decided to pick it up again through formal study and as I’ve chosen Reform, it’s classed as conversion. All good and fine, having a blast, learning loads, loving the community, amazing to connect with my heritage and the traditions my family once held. Jewish joy everywhere. Happy happy happy.

Saw my mother for the first time since I began the process the other day (we’re not close!). I know her views on Palestine but she has always been proud of being Jewish although never really delved further than that. Decided to tell her about how things were going. Oooft it went badly. She decided that Jewish people are all victimising themselves, how all of our traditions are based around our ‘victim complex’. I had my Siddur with me and she wanted to look - had a vague look before giving it back to me and saying ‘oh I don’t believe in God’. That’s grand, plenty of secular Jews, so I asked her what makes her feel Jewish. Oh just a feeling, she said. Right. A Jew is a Jew is a Jew and she is Jewish by Halacha but I’m confused as to how she feels Jewish if she thinks everything we do is a load of nonsense.

Asked if she’d like to come to my Bat Mitzvah… no interest. She and my gran are moving in together so I’ll be seeing a lot more of her and staying over - asked if I could observe Shabbat when I visit which, yes, but she ‘won’t get involved’. Thinks I’m stupid for wanting to find a Jewish partner. Generally so much more unsupportive and insulting than I thought she’d be. She has little impact on my life so luckily it’s not a huge massive deal but I am sad about it. I didn’t expect her to want to start observing lol but as we are Jewish I did expect more support and interest.

This vs my younger sister who visited over Shabbat and was mesmerised and can’t wait to visit to do it again, and has been asking me loads of questions. And my gran, who has dementia but has been so lovely and supportive, telling me as much as she can about what her mother did (she did go back to shul later in life) which has been so wonderful.

Sigh. Oh well :(

We’re Jewish by Jewish law - my maternal great grandmother was the daughter of a Rabbi and decided not to pass Judaism down. I decided to pick it up again through formal study and as I’ve chosen Reform, it’s classed as conversion. All good and fine, having a blast, learning loads, loving the community, amazing to connect with my heritage and the traditions my family once held. Jewish joy everywhere. Happy happy happy.

Saw my mother for the first time since I began the process the other day (we’re not close!). I know her views on Palestine but she has always been proud of being Jewish although never really delved further than that. Decided to tell her about how things were going. Oooft it went badly. She decided that Jewish people are all victimising themselves, how all of our traditions are based around our ‘victim complex’. I had my Siddur with me and she wanted to look - had a vague look before giving it back to me and saying ‘oh I don’t believe in God’. That’s grand, plenty of secular Jews, so I asked her what makes her feel Jewish. Oh just a feeling, she said. Right. A Jew is a Jew is a Jew and she is Jewish by Halacha but I’m confused as to how she feels Jewish if she thinks everything we do is a load of nonsense.

Asked if she’d like to come to my Bat Mitzvah… no interest. She and my gran are moving in together so I’ll be seeing a lot more of her and staying over - asked if I could observe Shabbat when I visit which, yes, but she ‘won’t get involved’. Thinks I’m stupid for wanting to find a Jewish partner. Generally so much more unsupportive and insulting than I thought she’d be. She has little impact on my life so luckily it’s not a huge massive deal but I am sad about it. I didn’t expect her to want to start observing lol but as we are Jewish I did expect more support and interest.

This vs my younger sister who visited over Shabbat and was mesmerised and can’t wait to visit to do it again, and has been asking me loads of questions. And my gran, who has dementia but has been so lovely and supportive, telling me as much as she can about what her mother did (she did go back to shul later in life) which has been so wonderful.

Sigh. Oh well :(