For a little context I'm 19 and a freshman in college and my bf is 22 and a senior who's graduating soon. The two of us have been dating for almost 3 months and things are going fine, but the one thing we can't seem to agree on is money. He tries to spend as little as possible and I have the mentality of "if you have the money to spend and what you're buying makes you happy then buy it". I don't want to force him out of his habit bc saving money is a good habit to have (one that I should learn lol) but I also feel like a burden whenever the topic of spending comes up.
For example, he said we might not see each other much, if at all over the summer bc I'll be 30 minutes away back at home working and he doesn't want to spend a lot on gas and doesn't want his car to overheat and break - I get the last bit but like I could lend him a 20 for gas if it's really that bad. The first and last time he drove me somewhere he didn't exactly seem enthusiastic about doing it (I don't have a car so I couldn't go myself). Then when I mentioned baking a bunch in his new apartment, the first thing he said was "but I have to pay the electric bill" (which is the only thing he pays other than rent and parking which is paid for by semester). We haven't really gone anywhere for a "dinner date" other than the campus restaurants where we can use meal swipes, we watch movies in my dorm and when I suggested we go see one in theaters he didn't seem to like the idea of spending money there. I don't think he's actually asked me out anywhere that wasn't on campus or where we carpooled with his friends and when I suggest going out, the talk of money is the first thing he mentions. And every time I spend money on something - for me or for him - he brings up my credit card bills. While I am trying to save up, my small paychecks aren't going to be paying them off anytime soon so I don't see an issue in buying things when those bills are the only responsibility I have.
Recently he mentioned me moving in with him when my roommate has to study abroad in a year or two, and I would love too but I don't think I could live in a place where money is such a big stressor like this and I won't be able to do anything fun outside of the house bc he's so worried about it. But I also don't want to live in a place where we have the whole "my money is my money and yours is yours and we don't share", because I feel like splitting finances 50/50 is a healthy way to go, but that doesn't just mean bills that also means the fun expenses.
I know we're both at different stages in life and the relationship is too new to really do much - and this is also my first real relationship and his first one ever - but I want to establish something early on so that this problem doesn't get worse to the point where the only solution is breaking up. I want us to communicate and work things out I just don't know how to start that conversation