AITAH for cutting off my boyfriend’s family after they lied to my parents and made them think I’m a drug addict?
I (24F) honestly feel like my life got flipped upside down overnight, and now I’m being told I’m the problem.
My boyfriend (21M) and I live together (we have been living together for about 6 months now), both work full-time, and we’re building a life. I’m currently doing my master’s degree and already have an honours degree. He has multiple technical qualifications. We’re not lazy or reckless. We're not perfect either, but I'd like to believe we’re functioning adults.
We do smoke weed occasionally. Not every day, not excessively, and it’s legal where we live. We don’t really drink or party. It’s just something we do now and then.
For context, my boyfriend had an extremely traumatic childhood. His dad was a heroin addict who exposed him to things no child should ever go through and eventually overdosed in front of him. His mom also went down a very bad path for a while before getting sober. He ended up moving in with his uncle at a young age.
The issue is the uncle’s girlfriend.
She’s incredibly manipulative and two-faced. When my boyfriend lived with them, she would set him up to get in trouble, lie about him, make messes and blame him, and generally treat him horribly. She did this to him until he moved in with me six months ago. Despite this, I still tried to keep things civil. I spent time around them and even helped HER get edibles and THC oil in the past when we went over to visit.
On my side, my parents are very judgmental. They know I smoke weed, but they hate it. I’ve spent years trying to gain their approval, constantly filtering what I say to avoid conflict. To say it was traumatic is an understatement.
Recently, the uncle’s girlfriend has been trying to force the uncle to move overseas with her. He doesn’t want to go because his son and my boyfriend (who is like a som to him) are here. After months of manipulation not working, things escalated.
She started causing fights with multiple people in the family. My boyfriend’s cousin and his girlfriend cut her off after she insulted the girlfriend because of her relationship with her parents. She doesn't have the best relationship with them, but they are supportive of one another.
The next day, while I was having lunch with my boyfriend, his cousin, and the cousin's girlfriend, I got a message from my dad accusing me of being a liar and asking how deep I was into drugs.
Turns out, the uncle’s girlfriend contacted my parents and told them I’m a drug addict. She said I beg for money, use harder drugs, and that I’m going to be the reason my boyfriend dies.
None of this is true.
But my parents believed her.
I tried explaining everything. I even offered to take a drug test, and my mom said I would probably fake it using someone else’s sample. My dad called me a failure.
I feel like I lost their trust and support instantly, after years of trying to prove myself to them.
I was furious. I blocked the uncle’s girlfriend and anyone involved, and I told my boyfriend I want nothing to do with them anymore. He supports me and told his family we’re going no-contact.
Now some of his family members are saying I’m overreacting and that I’m “taking him away from his family.” But I’ve told him he’s free to see them. I just don’t want any involvement with people who would lie about me and damage my relationship with my parents.
So… AITAH for cutting them off completely?
After typing all of this, I realise that I might not have added all the info. This is a very long story and since I am very emotional right now, I'm struggling to think clearly.
Therefore, please feel free to ask questions if it will provide more clarity on the situation!