Every conversation included a part where they tried to make me question my own judgment
Looking back, every conversation had two characteristics:
They would keep conversations at a surface level and not want to hear more about what I thought or what I was doing (this ties in with how self centered they can be, not really caring about me at all).
They would gently push back and question what I was talking about, not always a flat out disagreement, but a question or two like, “are you sure that’s going to work they way you think it will?” “Are you sure that’s the best way to do it?” “Well, that’s one way to do it, but I think there are others” “You know, you have to remember that blahblahblah…” “That’s what I’ve always liked about you, that you do things differently than everyone else”.
I think those questions were training me to question my own judgment and my own plans, and to keep me in a state of uncertainty and mild confusion. Also to train me to think they had knowledge I didn’t, so when the splits ultimately happened, I was already primed to not trust my own thoughts and opinions, to not trust what I was seeing with my own eyes, and to ignore how my nervous system was screaming at me.