u/IHaveOneQuestion10

My siblings, their partners and kids, my mom, myself and my husband and kid will be vacationing together this summer. We’ll stay in the same (very large) house.

One of my brothers and his wife have a very different approach to parenting their child (3.5) than I do with my almost 5-year-old. For me, some screen time is fine, I don’t police language unless it’s mean/rude, and am generally relaxed about behaviors provided they are safe and kind. They are very strict about all of that (often in ways that defy logic), which I usually chalk up to “none of my business.”

However we’ll be under the same roof for a week so I imagine there will be many opportunities for these approaches to conflict/clash. I’m happy to respect their rules for their children, but it’s my vacation too and I don’t want to walk on eggshells re: how my child is behaving.

Any advice for how to approach this in advance with them and/or to mitigate potential issues down the line?

ORG: in DC

Me: in NY

Colleague: in LA

I just discovered today that the person responsible for administrative finances had not been making the required contributions to the nonprofit's 401k account, despite taking the contributions from employees' paychecks, since November 2025--obviously well beyond the 15 biz day grace period. Other than the finance person copping to it (in a v casual way) today at a staff meeting, not sure org leadership would have realized otherwise (or if they knew already...)

They are supposedly making whole the employees whose money they stole (with interest), but I refuse to believe that's where the consequences should end. Apart from quitting (working on it) and my colleague getting their money, what other avenues for accountability are available? Is filing a DoL report still viable after they've "fixed" things?

I am 99.9% sure about many of the implications of this, but would love any further insight if you have it:

I just discovered today that the person responsible for administrative finances (payroll, accounts receivable, etc) had not been making the required contributions to the nonprofit's 401k account, despite taking the contributions from employees' paychecks, since November 2025. It was mentioned in passing this morning during a staff meeting in a way that made it seem like maybe it was for May's pay, so perhaps not a huge deal. But, come to find out from a colleague, it was for six months' worth. (Note: I am a contractor but am in close communication with a colleague who is employed full-time).

This is obviously illegal. I've done the requisite Googling and can see that they were essentially embezzling for months. What I am questioning now is recourse. They are supposedly making whole the employees whose money they stole (with interest), but I refuse to believe that's where the consequences should end.

This was potentially existential for the org. Even though they're rectifying the acute damages, and even though my pay was not directly impacted, I feel like there needs to be some kind of reckoning with leadership over this. The finance person is *still* working with the organization to my knowledge (it could change, but I feel like that should be immediate termination, no??). When my colleague was told their funds were being sorted, leadership gave no acknowledgement or apology regarding the absolute egregiousness of the issue.

As you might guess, this org is *rife* with issues of incompetence and disrespect to the people who show up daily to get the work done and further the mission, but this is the first time that's veered into straight illegal territory. Apart from quitting (working on it) and my colleague getting their money, what other avenues for accountability are available?

I am very much burnt out on my job, and was told, unequivocally, that despite not getting any raise (merit or COLA) for more than 4 years there is "no room to move" on giving me one--having never once received anything other than positive feedback on my work. So, I am applying elsewhere and dialing back my commitment output-wise since my work is not valued.

However, I am tasked with managing another contractor. Given my previous conversations with leadership about my workload and compensation, I'm not interested in discussing alternatives with them. But I am also well-aware that my quiet quitting will include any kind of diligent management/oversight. That's not necessarily fair to the team member I'm supposed to be supervising, but I'm not giving any more labor to an organization that doesn't respect it. Any advice for navigating this in a way that respects my colleague and my need to pull back?

Location: Working from NY for org based in DC.

I have been working in a 1099 capacity for a very small nonprofit for nearly 4.5 years, in communications and marketing. My job duties are very expansive and in very real terms, integral to the functioning of the organization. No one else does what I do (weekly newsletters, podcasts, website content maintenance and updating, quarterly newsletters, various marketing materials, donor communications, admin processes and structures, manage another contractor who supports social, etc etc). I lead and/or am expected to attend at least 3-4 meetings a week (though the rest of my working time, remotely, is not monitored or assigned). It has recently come to my attention that this is likely illegal given my status as a contractor and not an employee: long-term, regular work as a primary source of output for the org. To be blunt, I have no desire to work for this place as an employee and deal with the attending lack of flexibility that would entail, but I also want to ensure that this org is held accountable if they are indeed skirting the law. Can anyone shed insight?