How did you get past it.. if you ever did..
I(33f) had my first baby 15 months ago. I had an alright relationship with MIL. Shes a bit hard to handle sometimes, extremely emotionally driven, doesn’t do well when she feels she’s being told she did something that hurt you or someone ect. But with just me I didn’t really care or think much of it. Just felt like oh there’s some drama I’ll stay out of it.
Then comes baby . We had a no kissing baby anywhere rule, clothes included . She argued this rule MANY times and had blatantly disrespected it and me many times. Lots of them I’m sure were accidents but no like “ops sorry!” Or anything and at least 4 times were her being outright disrespectful and was 100% in the wrong and everyone that saw said there is no way she wasn’t aware of how awful she was being to me about it. And was actively kissing baby immediately after I said no. Then she uses the “why are you so quiet” at the next visit and I will tell her I feel hurt and disrespected and like my no as a mom means nothing and she will play down everything and tell a totally different story and when I say no that’s not possible because she leaves out giant parts of it and tell her exactly how it went (many people saw it ) she gets extremely mad and either stops talking to me , ignores it , goes into rants about how she’s ruined everyone’s lives and now the babies too so just don’t bring baby around then .. there is no having a conversation about how her actions are affecting me or our relationship .. it’s happened so many times and she uses the “misunderstanding “ or “the rule is confusing “ or “he’s older now so I thought maybe it changed and it was confusing because I wasn’t sure “ and I called her on those because it’s BS .. we have been very clear so now I will die on the hill of no kissing ever . Ruined it for everyone ..
Anyways . She pulled the misunderstanding csrd again and I told her once again why I feel how I feel and how it isn’t possible it’s confusing or a misunderstanding anymore because it’s impossible and retold her the things that have hurt me because she minimized it all like crazy before I said this and I got so upset . I was clear and not mean but I was to the point . She lost it on me and said she’s leaving for a while and no one would see her for some time and to just not being the baby to her then since she can’t fix the problem and because I’m still upset even when she explained herself . And I said that’s not the case just stop doing it and respect our wishes .She didn’t talk to me for a month which I don’t care . But now visits she just acts normal and it’s been about 1.5 months since her last ”ooops” and our argument.
She acts all normal and light and good at visits but I still just have this deep anger . I can’t seem to let it go . I know I don’t trust her despite her being a good person in general… think … I’m kind enough but I don’t talk to her much and keep conversation super dull and I don’t get all giddy and chatty . I feel anger and I just don’t even want to be around her . Everything she does makes me angry and when I get a message from her now even if it’s happy or nice I just feel this deep anger and I want to never talk to her again .
If she isn’t actively doing anything wrong now, how do I rebuild so I don’t feel this way anymore 😭I hate it . Like she won’t be allowed to have my kid alone because she clearly cares about her wants and feelings more than our wishes and will act on them if she pleases . But how do I get past this . It sounds small but the things she did were giant I just don’t feel comfortable explaining it all here .
Hellppp