Mother took over my life, Brother threatened me with CPS and turned the family against me whenn i called his parole officer.
This whole thing started in 2013. My mother moved in. Classic, nothing is ever good enough attitude, did a lot of different things to keep me dependent on her after she moved in. Including sabotaging relationships and other issues that recently affected my health, yelling at me for buying food while only buying nutrient void products, etc. She was a control freak to the core. But then she started moving people, even when i said no.
Jailbird (my brother) was the worst.
Jailbird enjoys smoking pot, a lot of it. Most of his convictions are focused around possession, but he has grand theft auto and a couple of assault charges according to him. But the big one he wound up doing time for was statutory "grape".
Let's start with the behavior. He was in and out of my place and i didn't mind the first couple times, hoping he'd change, but the entitlement and fits always caused a problem. Making messes to clean up when these episodes happened, never respecting the household rules. It got old after the 3rd time having him live in my house. I started saying no, but my mother let him in anyhow. At one point he had even slept with a woman i had been trying to make amends with at the time under the guise of "protecting me". In reality, he's a selfish git who is liberal to the core and thinks the world owes him something. I'm not sure which removal it was, but my mother had at one point admitted the only reason she kept letting him back in was because she knew i would take care of it if he got out of hand.
When he got registered to the offender list, I caught something was off fairly quickly. By the time the first week of him being back in my house i had heard 3 different stories. Met at a party and didn't know her age, her mother introduced them at the bar, and another one i don't remember. But they all mentioned her being different ages as well. 17, then 16 skipped 15 to jump down to 14. My family convinced me to ignore it.
I noticed how he treated his most current girlfriend. Thats when it all made sense. Feeding her weed like a treat for doing what he wanted and punishing her for acting out of line as far as physical abuse. I gave her a clear warning, she needed to get out. He was grooming a fully grown woman who was mentally recessed. Like they all do, she didn't listen and now her mother has custody of their kid.
Onward to the parts i remember better:
A few years back, i gained custody of my son and things went south because he was living in my house. I won't go into detail as to of why i got custody of my son, but i had to go 2 states out to collect him. I told Jailbird he needed to contact his parole officer and tell them what was happening. When i got back, he was still there. He lied and told me his parole officer said it was fine. I set the ground rules, he wasn't to be out with alex on his own at any point in time because i didn't believe him and i try to protect everyone.
This didn't even last a week. He tested the waters to see how firm i would stand my ground by taking alex to the grave yard to play Pokémon go. My mother told me this and i said i would take care of it when i got home. Jailbird didn't like that and harassed me throughout the afternoon while i was at work. I told him "don't do it again and if he didn't like the house rules he could call his PO and explain he needed another place" in those words over text. His response was "if one were to call cps" is all i saw. Anyone who knows this variety of narcissistic behavior knows that "one" means "me, myself or I" while arguinghed take my son out again while i was at work.
I told him I was calling his parole officer and explaining the situation, there wasn't any negotiation. Thats when it was confirmed he lied to me about his parole officer saying it was okay for him to stay. He lied about a lot of things. He spent the rest of his parole in a correctional facility, not allowed to return when he got out, at least not immediately. Ge still did, my mother letting him spend nights in our basement after i fell asleep. In my head, i marked it as evidence she didn't really care, just so long as it looked like she did.
Somewhere in the mix of all this, my twin "Marine" had stayed with us for somewhere in the ballpark of a year.
Another with a "not good enough" mentality, superiority complex when he was fresh out. We wound up having a falling out because my mother was lying to him about me not paying rent... in my apartment.
Before Virtues last removal, i tried to explain the situation to Marine, the personal part of it. He didn't believe me at the time. Virtue spent a long time couch surfing and eventually he was dropped of the registry and you guessed it, my mother let him back in again openly, against my wishes.
At this point, so spun out on all the nonsense that was being pulled, i had puled his record to find out the what had actually happened with his charges. She was at least 12 when he started grooming the girl and 14 by the time the child from that was born. I was disgusted and was refusing any allowance, but police where called and i was told to stand down in my own place because my mother was making a scene. He brought his then girlfriend in and didn't last 2 weeks before cps had both of them removed due to back and forth abuse towards eachother.
He called up the whole family and started telling them i was making him choose between his gf and a roof over his head, i just didn't like him, etc. I Gave Marine and my youngest brother the court reports to let them decide who they wanted to believe. Thor wouldn't listen and accused me of trying to "socially ostracize Virtue". Gave me the "blood is thicker than water" routine and i corrected the saying that time.
It took 2 years before any of us spoke again and it was Marine. Someone had sent him the newspaper clip of Virtues arrest and some of the details, including the girls age. He was sick of Jailbird not contributing in any way and admitted he was wrong with everything that happened.
Recent situation: because of my mothers control issues i got extremely sick due to her choices without "her permission" to bring food into the house. I had enough of the sabotage, going behind my back with my kids and now my health was at risk. I didn't find out until it was obvios how under nourished i was and marine is the one who pointed it out.
Marine offered me to move, and would drop Virtue off with our mother. Let her deal with the creature she created through constant enabling. I'm getting a new car tomorrow and taking him up on his offer in june. I've had enough. There is far more to the story, but i don't have the energy (physical, emotional or mental) to go through every detail. Between the two i lost a number of relationships and my personal growth had been stunted severely, including driving (my mother had stolen 2k to buy a car for herself when i told her i planned to put a down-payment on an suv in 2016).
When my daughter lived with me, my mother had regularly targeted her and i had to physically put myself between them. My mother had even gotten physical with my daughter and exagerated several instances to the point i could barely leave the house for work without concern something would happen over the summer days.
After my daughter was ejected (over accusations she was making about me) my mother turned on my son. Putting all of her frustrations into him and i. Sorry for the lack of detail, but i can't continue at the moment. No real names have been shared, but i needed to get this off my chest.