u/IAMJBPDRK

I am 20 years old and often feel mentally overwhelmed, as if my thoughts are constantly looping. There is a persistent sense that I may already be left behind by modern dating culture.

I consciously follow chastity and celibacy. I am a virgin by choice, a volcel. I do not wish to engage in premarital sex, even within a committed long-term relationship. I have abstained from pornography and masturbation, and although I experienced relapses earlier, I have remained fully committed for the past year.

In college, I observe that many women are in relationships and a number are sexually active. This is their choice, and I respect their autonomy. However, this reality makes me question myself. I sometimes feel as if I have failed to adapt to changing social norms, and I wonder whether I should step away from relationships altogether.

It seems that casual and pleasure-oriented relationships have become more common, while my principles remain unchanged. At the same time, my conscience does not allow me to pursue such relationships. My values are central to my sense of identity and character, and I cannot simply change them.

My values come from personal conviction and reflection. My perspective on relationships emphasizes discipline, long-term thinking, and emotional clarity rather than impulsive gratification. I am spiritually inclined, but my outlook is not based on fear, pressure, or obligation. Even in a different environment, I believe my views on intimacy and commitment would remain the same

When I asked some of my single friends whether they would accept a partner with past relationships, they said they would have no issue, as this is common today. I am not trying to control anyone’s choices. Adults are free to live according to their own values. It is I who feels out of place and uncertain about how to move forward.

It's like Having PTSD in my head just random things looping and I cannot stop them, and I don't even have traumas

This is just self preservation instincts