I hate it when people say that blaming others instead of improving oneself. I despise it. Especially when the problem is the environment or their upbringing. The world has gone to shit. I barely feel any genuine love in modern dating. Friends either abandon you in a second or put up walls or wear masks.
It's so lonely.
I feel so fake. The personality I put up with people is something I painstakingly built over the past 2 years. Of course, it's not like I'm backstabbing any of them and I'm usually genuine but it's so lonely when they truly don't know me. Trust I tried. And all I met was distance. For the love of god, why?! Why would you do this to me. Without any explanation. Let me at least properly move on. What did I ever do to you.
I don't truly understand people. Not understanding makes me go crazy. Loneliness is driving me crazy.
It's like from the moment I was born until now, I was all alone. I don't truly have anyone I can call a best friend. No girlfriend. Just a loser who desperately tries and learns everything just to be loved.