My social anxiety makes no sense
A couple of weeks ago I played the piano in front of a bunch of strangers and while I was nervous it wasn't super scary. Somehow, these "performance" situations don't bother me much. I'm also perfectly fine giving presentations, even in front of large crowds.
But here is the thing: I saw someone film my piano performance (it was some kind of event, not weird at all) and have tried to find out who that was because I would love to have that video. Through some pictures and asking other people I am now 90% sure I know who it is and could DM her on insta. BUT I am scared lol, I have been avoiding this for WEEKS cause how do you start a message like "heya, so I did some lowkey stalkerish stuff to find your insta cuz maybe you're the person who filmed me playing the piano?". And now since it's been weeks it feels even more weird. Idk if I'll ever do it.
Also, it takes me DAYS to respond to emails because I overthink every single sentence. And someone at work telling me to "just ask the secretary about it, her office is somewhere on the 2nd floor" turned into weeks of procrastination cause I didn't want to look awkward searching for her office. But then again I had no problem approaching a group of people playing table tennis. (My workplace has a sports area, I saw them play and asked if I can join. Somehow that didn't feel weird or scary at all.)
This makes no sense to me. How am I fine with performing in front of strangers but too scared to write a simple DM? How am I perfectly fine approaching strangers but feel awkward looking for someone's office?
Anyone else? 😭😭