I was looking at my husband's watch history and I saw him looking at videos of practically naked women doing obscene things with their bodies so I confronted him about it and he said he wasn't or that they were just showing up on his algorithm, I looked at his bookmarks and he had 2 of the videos bookmarked, now he says he doesn't know why they're bookmarked and that it was probably an accident, Then I also saw an old reel he sent to his friend that said "When I'm daydreaming about the loml I fumbled 3 years ago but my lame ass gf is showing me something on her lame ass phone" that one really hurt because I was 7 months pregnant with my son at the time and his passed relationship at the time was 3 years ago, he says he just thought it was funny and that it didn't mean anything, I know I'm getting gaslighted and he won't talk about any of it without getting upset so obviously I'm furious about being gaslighted and him not being honest with me but do you think this is something I'm getting overly upset about? I'm going thru postpartum and I think this is the worst it's ever been, I know he's wrong but I just don't know how to go about it to where he'll talk to me about it and validate what I'm saying so I don't feel so crazy or alone I don't know if I'm the best communicator either, I've been trying to talk about this with him for days and I don't know how to make this better I feel like it ruined our relationship
u/I-Am-Axolotl-
We have been together for about 3 years, We have a 17 month old and a 6 month old together. When we first got together things were great, we had a great relationship, over time things started changing, it started with mean jokes directed towards me, I'd get upset and he'd refuse to apologize and say "I'm just playing" or "it's not that serious", fast forward to now and he does mean things, slams doors or is rude to me and then he denies it or says I took it the wrong way or says I'm overreacting, he refuses to take accountability for anything he does and when I get upset because he refuses to resolve the problem, he starts being overly affectionate, showering me with compliments and making me start back all over again till next time because I'm a SAHM with no money of my own or any resources and he knows that I'm stuck, any time I try to stay on the subject and hold him accountable he gets mad and defensive and walks away, Is this something that a person is capable of changing? Is there something I can do fix or help the situation other than leave?