u/Hyppointhewater — reddlx

Father Rick has lately gotten news that some of the Sisters had been naughty, and he decided to take action. He gathered the Nuns and made them line up in front of the church's courtyard fountain of holy water.
“Now sisters. I understand that desire can be strong. But today you wash away your sins. You name your sin and wash it away with the holy water.”
The first nun in line admits to having peeked, and stared at a penis, so she washes her eyes with the holy water. The second nun admitted to having touched a penis, so she washes her hand in the holy water...
Then, suddenly, Sister Clarice starts bumping all the other nuns to get to the front of the line.
“Sister, sister, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but everybody will get their turn.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what Father. If I must gargle this holy water, I’m sure going to do it before Sister Marie dunks her ass in it!”

So, this guy (let’s call him Tom) goes and buys a secondhand motor bike, and the man who sells it to him mentions that the clutch can be a little tight but there’s a trick, “Whenever you see rain coming, just put a little Vaseline on the clutch cables and it’ll keep it working smoothly. Here’s the half a jar I have left.” And he hands him a jar of Vaseline that has obviously been put through the paces.

Tom buys the bike and goes for a drive on this... perfect day. He picks up a hitchhiking gorgeous woman at some point, and when he drops her off, she invites him to come to her house later for a family dinner at around 7pm.

At 7 on the dot, Tom shows up to the babe’s house, rings the bell, and the woman he gave a ride to earlier in the day answers the door looking even sexier than she did earlier (if that’s even possible.) Before letting him in, she mentions that this will be a quiet dinner because the rule is, that whoever talks first will have to do the dishes. He walks in quietly, the entrance leads to the living room. There’s dirty dishes everywhere: The coffee table, the shelf, on top of the fireplace, on top of the T.V (yeah, this happened back when there were tops of Televisions...). From the living room into the kitchen, and the counters had dirty dishes piled up to the ceiling. The only clean area was the dining table, and plates were set. The babe shows Tom to his seat, and everybody starts eating quietly...

His date starts caressing his leg from under the table, slowly making her way to, well you know. Things get very arousing, and well, he doesn’t want to clean the dishes but he’s losing it... Eventually, he can’t take it anymore, so he grabs her, throws her on the table, rips her pants off and that he has his way with her, right there on the kitchen table in front of God and everybody. Noon says a word. They sit back down and everybody goes back to eating like nothing happened. Shortly thereafter, his date’s sister starts playing footsies with him under the table. Tom grabs the sister, throws her on the table, and has his way with her as well. The mother then starts unbuttoning her blouse, and eating in very suggesting ways, so Tom throws the mother on the table hand has his way with her as well. Noon says a word...

After that, Tom was rather spent, and he looks outside, you could barely see through the dirty dishes and out the window, but it looked like rain was coming. So he reaches out in his jacket pocket, and pulls out his jar of Vaseline (thinking of his clutch)...

The father spring up into action immediately and says, “Alright, alright, put that thing away, I’ll do the fucking dishes!”