My ‘lesbian’ girlfriend has a crush on the guy who watches us fuck
Hey so I am in a real tricky place.
I 20F have a girlfriend 19F who I’ve been dating for about two years now. Our best friend 20M is a super nice guy who’s kinda a whore
He’s always been very sex positive and partakes in hook-up culture. One night my girlfriend and I got really drunk at his place and fucked in his bed in front of him and his roommate 20F
It was sorta a one time thing and then he asked us over just to fuck in front of him again. It was fun to do because it was messy and idk it’s some shit you do in your twenties for the plot.
Again he’s never taken part in the sex, just watched.
Anyways my girlfriend who is a lesbian recently things maybe she’s sexually attracted to him
Which well was not the plan. I’m mostly aromantic so it was a surprise when I developed feeling for my gf, so there was no way I as a lesbian would get a crush on this mediocre white boy and neither my gf or I considered she would ever get a crush on him because again she’s fucking gay
But apparently she has? Anyways we stopped letting him watch us after he kinda decided he wanted to lock in and get a girlfriend, because like respect for the women he’s going on dates with?
But now my girlfriend really misses him, and misses that part of our dynamic. We’re still really good friend with him but it feels like she’s struggling to get over it. She’s behaving like it’s a break up while in a relationship with me
We’re not an open relationship but we’ve always been if ‘we’re both into’ type of people. I’ve always liked casual because of the aromatic part of me, but I guess I never considered that feelings could get involved which is messy and I hate it
But I love my gf so much and she is literally so great to me and always takes my feelings into account when we talk about how she misses the dynamic we used to have
But I can’t help but feel frustrated as I can’t relate to liking two people at the same time and I just need advice or something of the sort
I just don’t know
I know she loves me and we’ve had a billion discussion since all of this ended in December but I don’t know. I think part of me feels betrayed because I’d never like someone else, but also I just don’t operate like most people
I can’t lose her and I love her so much. She’d never leave me for our best friend or invalidate my feelings but I don’t want to invalidate hers so I guess I’m asking how can I be sympathetic to the break up with him but also recognize I have my own complicated feelings on the subject?
Some clarifications 5/14:
- I am arospec. I used to define as acearo but after meeting and starting to date my gf I’ve since let myself to just be on the spectrum she’s the only romantic partner I’ve had and the only person I’ve felt any sort of romantic attraction for
- I love my guy best friend and I did not mean to be so mean to him in the original post, I just was frustrated when writing and wanted to get a point across about the type of guy he is. He’s the kindest asshole I’ve ever met and I wouldn’t change a thing about him
- yes my girlfriend is a lesbian and had only dated and been with women. She’s still not even sure she’s attracted to him, but she knows she misses that part of the dynamic. The post was made to take advice on how to be supportive while she messes with her label or at least explores things and how I can let her explore without ignoring my own feelings on the situation
- thank you for the nice and critical comments! They’re certainly helped a lot in my thought process.