My mother is currently in hospital after a fall in the morning. She's in her 60s, frail due to Parkinsons and alcohol abuse. When she was admitted to hospital, she confessed she had a bottle of wine so she had to go on a medical detox to flush it out of her system before she could have further treatment. Hearing this made me want to punch the wall and shout at her.
For context, she has been an alcoholic for about 20 years. Very socialable, always wanted to impress and be helpful. I believe it's the loss of her mother that caused her to depend on alcohol to cope. At first, she would say 'I'm just tired' when explaining her behaviour while drunk and I would move on. But this erratic behaviour, slurring and incomplete sentences, falling asleep on the sofa, failing to finish or cook dinner, struggling to get up in the morning to take me to school and her workplace was becoming far too common.
I noted to her how her behaviour changed when she drank, observed she would mix vodka with her coke and even asked her if she had a issue with alcohol. She flat out denied she had issues and this caused emotional and financial strain on our family. As a teenager, I even offered to help her, direct her to right services, hide her alcohol and water down her drinks. I feel guilty I never told a teacher. What hurt is she would admit to her doctor she had an issue with alcohol misuse but never admitted this to me. It's only gotten worse since I moved away, Covid happened and she 'medically retired' because she couldn't work her job anymore.
The news of her fall didn't surprise me. Over the last few years, she has been gradually losing weight due to a poor diet, becoming more frail and having falls. Her body is probably 20 years older than her actual age. We recently welcomed our first child, which is her first grandchild. I hoped that would help her turn her health around. Be the grandmother our child deserves. Offer some motherly advice. I just feel so angry at her and how me, my sister and dad have to coordinate her treatment and return to home. It's all self infected, she isn't going to fully recover and we are picking up the pieces. How do I make this situation better or at least change how I feel about it? How do I speak to her about her health and alcoholism? Shall I just write down my experiences, turn it into a script and cash in on my trauma?
Any help would be great.